[boyracer]

hi,

i am finding it difficult to trust my girlfriend and am finding myself to be very jealouse, she only has to look at another lad and i think she fancies him, she went abroad on holiday for 2 weeks, now shes back i keep accusing her of cheating on me and it causes arguments.

If another lad calls her up or texts her phone i get very agressive and start making threats to the lad, I know she has a lot of male friends as she told me she gets on with lads more than she does girls, i really dont want to loose her but all these thought make me feel inadiquate, she was a virgin b4 i got with her and now i keep thinking she might want somebody new, can any1 help me or give me advice on how i can stop being like this, i really wanna make it work

please help

Shaun

[JoL]

At least you recognise you have a problem with jealousy. if you see my post about my boyfriend, he doesnt even accept he has a jealousy problem!

Believe me- i am in your girlfriends shoes at the moment...no girl wants to be with a guy who is insecure. We want to be trusted unless, of course, we have done something legitimate to break that trust. which it sounds like she hasnt done. looking in the direction of another guy is a perfectly healthy normal thing to do- you cant help who gets into your line of sight! being jealous of something like this is totally irrational.

You have to look at it this way- by trusting her and showing you a loving supportive boyfriend, you are showing her you are worth having in her life. that you trust her to make the right decisions and show you respect...if she chooses to break that trust then thats her loss!

But if you keep this behaviour up and prove yourself to be a jealous maniac, slowlllyyy your girlfriend is going to start resenting you. your relationship will suffer and even if she would never cheat on you, she may feel comforted by her male friends because of your behaviour!

you shouldnt be scared of getting hurt by trusting her- be more scared of pushing her away with your out of control jealousy- believe me the risk of the latter is MUCH higher.