[9Lives]

I can say I have found myself in this situation 3 times. The third time I had to ask myself why do I keep getting myself into these situations.

The first time I was young and did not come from strong teaching of values and morals. I married him. Yes, he left his wife for me. It happens. Sorry.

The second time I was married myself and my marriage was very empty so I wind up messing with another mm. That end because we knew we were too close...emotionally. We had been know each since we were 9 yrs old and he always liked me when I was a little girl. I actually was not trying to get with him. He was the one. He was very familiar to me because of our past. The next thing you know. He has wooed me. To this day we are back being just friends. Nothing else. Just friends and I am glad about it. The details are much more. My husband was so neglectful that I would be in the bedroom at 2am in the morning have phone sex and he wouldn't even know it. I would go out of town for 4 days with my lover and he would not even call to see if I made it to the other side. Just did not pay attention to me. Then things changed. To make a long story short. He is begging, crying, pleading to have me back but I lost my love for him because he did not treat me well. There was other stuff that happen like him not getting me anything for our anniverssary, christmas, valentines day and mothers day. No sleeping with me. Not taking me anywhere. That is to name a few. So it was easy to not act right with him.

The third time, it just did it. My marriage was not goiing well but for some reason I did not give it much thought. I dont know why. The next thing you know, I was dealing with him.

My soon to be ex-husband asked me why do I keep getting involved with guys who are not available. I was like I dont know. I am now very conscious of it because I want it to stop. I have been hit on by so many marriaged men too. I am positive I will not let this happen again once I get myself out of this one. I say it is over but I am not sure it really is because I know we are still attracted to each. Not to say I want to hook up. I am just weak for him right now. I am only being honest. I cant say I have made it the the other side yet. But I know I am not going to get in this mess anymore. I am serious.

[shortbus74]

thrill of the chase....

[Karlise13]

Are you addicted to the 'high' of a new relationship?

That wonderful intoxicating heady feeling of new romance?

Mmmm, the wonderful bad-ness of 'forbidden' love?

It's all very exciting isn't it?

Many people love the thrill of all of the above and find the humdrum reality of day-to-day existence appallingly dull. I think that's why many turn to troublesome affairs. Just so much more interesting. Especially if you don't have a lot of other things taking up your time.

[KissMyTiara]

If you were a young, single professional female, I would suggest reading "The New Other Woman" for insight on this (granted, it was written in 1985, but it is still very much apropos), but since you are not single, the "theory" re: why younger (late 20s-early 30s) get involved with MM doesn't really apply to you. But for all those OW where it does apply, it provides helpful insight into why this is happening to you, that is, why you wound up in this situation.