[Alexandré]

I dont know what it is. But lately I have been so lonely, not a "im lonely and want to kill myself lonely" but lonely nonetheless. I regularly go on dates, but I hate the dating process so much that I barely ask anyone out myself. I just want to skip the whole "dating" thing. I wish we could meet, hit it off, hang out casually, and then start something. Going on dates just sucks the fun out of it, and its so ackward and structured. Any advice on what to do?

Originally posted by Alexandré
I dont know what it is. But lately I have been so lonely, not a "im lonely and want to kill myself lonely" but lonely nonetheless. I regularly go on dates, but I hate the dating process so much that I barely ask anyone out myself. I just want to skip the whole "dating" thing. I wish we could meet, hit it off, hang out casually, and then start something. Going on dates just sucks the fun out of it, and its so ackward and structured. Any advice on what to do?

Ah, Alexandre....I hear you, I really do hear you. The dating game - it's all trial and error, really. A lot of error, methinks!

For quite some time now I've been feeling lonely, just as you describe. It's so hard to meet that special someone, that someone you click with, who makes you feel warm when you think of them and who...well...erases those feelings of lonliness. I think in my situation, my feeling lonely stems from being the only single girl in my group of friends, having been single for so long and feeling out of the loop. I think many of us reach a point in our lives where something is missing and we start to wonder where we fit in the whole scheme of things. Sometimes I feel I don't fit into their lives anymore, but I also wonder where's my life fit in the whole scheme of things? (I'm not suicidal at all, either).

Dates not working out only reinforces that we are alone. But that can only be a positive thing - I'd rather a date not work out than be lonely with someone. The most alone I've ever felt in my life was in a previous relationship that didn't offer me anything emotionally. It was awful.

You know, I think I'm at my lonliest when I don't have that special person I can share my most intimate thoughts with...that's what I struggle with. Missing that special brand of intimacy and having a special bond, only heightens lonliness for me.

I don't know if I can offer any advice as such, Alexandre. I'm in the same boat as you. But I do know that ONEDAY (and damn, I'm tired of waiting for that damn day!), I won't feel so lonely anymore.

The ironic thing is, you're not alone at all.