Issue of trust.

Serendipity034 · 31st August 2004, 9:32 AM

I had a horrible break up with my BF breakign up with me after almost three years, and talk of marriage... there was some suspicion of him cheating on me which was confirmed a week after the break up, people called .. I saw the phone bill.. and people who knew told me as soon as they found out we were broken up...
Anyway....
I am seeing someone now and I am having such a big problem in trusting him... just paranoid all the time, when I call him and he tells me he is busy, I get paranoid... part of the paranoia is that I am in NY and he is in Penn... I feel like my ex ruined my trust for everyone else.. and perhaps this will ruin all my future relationships.. I don't know how to deal with this at all..

wildturkey · 31st August 2004, 9:48 AM

Keep your shields up for now. Find someone local whom you can see often and whom you can trust. It is not fair for you to have those feelings.

Bronzepen · 31st August 2004, 9:48 AM

Don't worry about something you have no control over.

To have trust is to have faith in the person and at the same time knowing that there is nothing you can do to prevent that person from being unfaithful.

I can understand, you not wanting to be hurt again. That's normal.

But like all relationships, we roll the dice and hope we don't crap out.

Although in this day and age, the odds are against us...

Good luck in your new relationships.

Serendipity034 · 3rd September 2004, 5:51 PM

Thanks for replying

I am trying to be calm and just not get paranoid...

U R right .. you cant help anything.. things happen

beautiful · 5th September 2004, 7:46 AM

you are not ready for a new relationship!

Yes you will ruin a new relationship with this. This new man has nothing to do with your ex or does he? are you picking guys with the same charachters?

You know there is a reason for this and that is what you have to find out and fix that about you not them!

I say take things slow with this new man and if you can't trust him, let him go it is not fair to him.

ps123 · 6th September 2004, 12:37 AM

Trust is something that is earned over time....however, its also not fair to not trust someone without having any reason not to. I guess Id try to relax and trust the new guy until he gives you a reason not to. I know its easier said than done and Ive been where you are. Hang in there.

UCFKevin · 6th September 2004, 1:50 AM

I think Billy Joel said it best:

"One...two...a-one two three fo'!"