[tola]

Could someone please tell me what to do. I have been friends with this guy for the past four years and he has always fancied me but i never took any notice. earlier on this year i dated someone and this friend of mine was not happy. I stopped calling him but he called me back and we made up. saw him the frist time in a year last month and then one thing led to the other and then we kissed. He then told me of the frist time we meet and also my favorite food which i was surprised at because i never knew that he cared so much. every thing seemed to have gone ok that night and then the folowing day i got a text from him saying that we should not ruin our friendship by going further. Now i fancy him and he still is intrested but wouldnt go any further said he didnt know what came over him. I was very surprised cos he was not drunk. He still asks me about my private live and still just wants to be friend which i am findig very hard to balance.
Please could someone tell me what he is playing at and what should i do. as i seem to have lost one of the closest people to me

[shamen]

Any updates to report? I'm imaging that the two of you have spoken some since you posted this. What's up?

I would imagine that you haven't lost a friend so much as helped to define the boundaries of your friendship. It'll probably be weird for a little bit, but go back to normal eventually.

Believe me, I feel your pain. I too have a good friend for whom I feel big feelings.

[tola]

well my dear,

The situation is a lot more complicated than before. As things stand i totally ignored him. But then check this out, whenever i log unto my msn before even my email notifications have gone off the screen he has started messaging me and this is someone who thinks we should just be friends. Of course i am very civil with him i do maintain the good old fashioned hello how are you but remain very clinical with him.
I am definately over him as i have moved on although i still think that he has either got a woman or is living in a state of mixed up feelings. If ever anyone finds themselves in my situation please move on cos u will be surprise to know that other people will see the lovely qualities which u have,

[amerikajin]

In other words, he wants to keep you on the bench in case he needs a pinch hitter late in the game.

Tell him to take a hike.

[shamen]

Youch, Americajin. I don't know that it's a pinch hitter situation. I seriously feel her pain. My friend and I have history with the feelings thing; it's been going on for almost a year and a half. I've never felt that way about him (pinch hitter), nor do I think that he feels that way about me. It's just complicated.

You're probably right, Tola, moving on would make things a lot easier. It's very hard to read a friend for whom you have feelings. It's like you want to just be their friend but you can't stop thinking about them and then they do things that convince you that there's something more to it. God it sucks.

I wish that I personally was better about discussing emotions, then this whole thing would've been either done or out in the open ages ago.

So, I guess that the two of you are remaining friends, with all of this stuff in the background. Eventually it will fade. Right? I hope so, for both your and my sakes.

[Jenny317]

He might think differently about both relationships! You should just go on and make him notice what he just lost! Friends come and go, but you should try talking to him, see why he changed so much...