Looking for an answer that I dont know if it exists....
Hey Guys,
Like most of you all here I have been dumped and I noticed that the range of a realtionship prior to the breakup can be from 4months to 9 years. The end result in all of these relationship is the same feelings of heartbreak, anger, wanting to be with our ex, sadness etc. I am just wondering how come we dont see in some cases the breakup coming? In somecases you have the 2 people talking about haveing a future together ie living togethr, getting married, having kids etc....then literally the next day the world comes crashing down on you when you get the news that your BF/GF wants to end things with you....Why lets say God's hand in this or fate or whatever you believe in allows you to go through this for example why could not the person who was in a realtionship for 9 yrs not know this in the 1st week of knowing the person...I just dont see the point in hurting....Like the mental and physical pain one endures from a break up usually the dumpee...I have heard people say that just remember the good times and take that with you...well thats fine, but no relationship is perfect what about the bad times, shouldnt 2 people supossedly who care for each other stick it out? I hate feeling like this sad, depressed, hurt etc....and yes time heals all wounds but, what about the next person you meet how do you know they will not hurt you the same way....what does the "one" supposed to feel like? I thought I had the "one" and now I am heartbroken....
I have asked all your questions before while eating Haggen daas and watching re-runs of sex and the city and I have come to this conclusion...
I believe that god puts people in our path for a specific reason. We are with someone to either learn a lesson or teach them one.
We may need that specific person at that time or they might need us.
Once we learn w/e it is we need to or our purpose with that person is complete we move on. It could take a month...it could take 9 years.
About the bad times those either bring you closer or separate you thats what I have always believed. You stick it out if you love someone till you can't anymore and if it doesn't work accept the fact that god has other plans and you just have to be open to recieve them.
As for knowing when you have found the 'one' Can't help you there..
I haven't met him yet.....
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The male brain is more compartmentalized than the female brain. Men can seperate things whereas women have a harder time cause their brains are all wired together in some inter-connected mish-mosh.
I never thought of it that way, we learn something or the other person does it may take like you said a month or 9 yrs...I wonder then what you learn in marriage Ie like long commitment.....as for the "one" hehe so far no one has given me that answer!! life is funny I guess i will have to be open to recieve what God has planned for me....it would be nice if i got a heads up from the big guy!....
Yeah I sure could use a sign, I need one that says "look stupid I am the one for you!" my "gut" does not seem to be working right! .....I will keep you guys posted...i am here everyday since i was dumped...I am still hurting like you all, but am getting a little better every day...I try not to get bitter....just have been getting a huge sting of bad luck for about 5 years (no joke) and I am just getting angry and upset, I just feel that this break up was "the straw that broke the camels back" I get angry at God and faith, I just start wondering if I did something wrong to tick him off....
Oh, you should check out some of the religious posts
Well, he DID test Job quite a bit.
Before I met my current BF, I went through some sh*t. Really really bad sh*t. Like, I got pregnant and lost a baby, and the guy thought I made it up to "keep" him; I got raped in my sleep by another boyfriend (he was an older man), oh, its a whole host of things, really.
Now, I'm with someone really nice. It just takes some crap so that you appreciate goodness when you see it.
I am sorry to hear that you went through some bad sh@t....I real happy to hear that you found someone to treat you right. I guess everyone has to go through some pain and torment before they see the good.....But I am sure all of us here appriecates any good that comes along...everyone abviously cares enough to help each other out on this forum...so I dont think we are all deserving of the sh@t most of us has gone through.....I guess it just makes us stronger in the end...hopefully we will never have to draw upon that strength with a new realtionship...it just flows with out a hitch...atleast i hope thats how it should be with ones "one"
Like I said before love hasn't been kind to me either.
My other ex the one before the one you know about well its such a sad story. I posted kinda on it a long time ago. But too make a long story short, he was young, handsome and he came from bulgaria. He hardly knew english and his mother sent him to america to live with his father (which he never met).
The father was a truck driver who was never home and treated him like ****. He would drink all the time and leave him for weeks without food or anything.
I met him and he fell in love with me and we had a nice relationship. I would spend all my money on clothes for him and making sure he had something to eat. We went through a lot. It was like something out of the movies. One day I was robbed at gunpoint and he saved my life.
He was never as happy as he was with me. I unfortunately took advantage of his love I figured he would always be there. I broke up with him and he cried every single night to me on the phone and it would break my heart. I left him because my whole family was telling me there was no future there and that the relationship wasnt good for my health due to the constant worrying. I wasn't in love with him but I loved him.
About a month after I broke up with him we were still friends and I continued to hang out with him because he was really depressed and his dad kicked him out and he was living on a bench. Till his 'friends' took him in and a week later his 'friends' stabbed him over a radio and he died. He was murdered and the guys in jail. True story I swear you can look it up it was all over the news.
Thats when I questioned god and his methods and I hated the world.
But thats when I realizd that I was with dean for a reason. He taught me things and I taught him how to love.
I still think about him and I miss him alot and thats a blow that I will never forget. But life goes on.
You may hear me repeat that life is short well thats why. I hear all these break up stories and how they want to die and commit suicide because their gf/bf cheated on them...It saddens me. They have no idea what real pain is.
But anyways..after much counseling I'm ok and I'm open to love again and I'm just waiting for the one.
I put it down to "Pillow talk, without the pillow".
Some people are just full of .... and drag you through a relationship before they finally tell it like it is AFTER they've used you
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What doesn't kill us does not make us stronger, it makes us wiser!
Yeah thats not even the whole story tried to keep it short ...
But I went through a lot of pain.
Didn't leave my room for two whole months.
But I have a good family, loving friends and some counseling helped as well.
And the fact of knowing that he is in a better place now makes me happier because he was miserable here.
My family though I don't think I could've made it without them.
Thats good you got familly support it helps.....You know what we are all friggin due for something good to us all...I hope it is soon!!!...
About an hour ago, I was studying and all of the sudden I got this rush of lonelyness and sadness, desperation...I just felt like I need to call/e-mail my ex...I just felt lost....But I did not call or e-mail...I stopped myself.....it was hard...I miss her
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Oh, you should check out some of the religious posts
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