|
Well, it's possible that Kristin has crossed the line from social drinking (a big part of young adult culture these days) to alcoholism. I'm not certain that's the case, but it's something for you to think about, given how frequently she drinks and the episode of binge drinking you describe. Here's a list of the warning signs from a medical site:
"Warning Signs of Alcoholism The following list is not all inclusive and a "diagnosis" or "label" of alcoholism should not be based upon these warning signs. Only physicians and clinical psychologists can make that call. Trying to cut down or to quit drinking but failing at it. Blackouts (a blackout is not being so drunk that the person canīt remember anything, or passing out; a blackout is simply an amnesia for an event that occurred the previous day or evening, as though it had been erased from the memory completely) or lapses of memory, after use. Drinking alcohol while alone, or hiding the evidence of use. Using alcohol to forget about problems or worries or to relieve stress, fear, shyness or insecurity. Doing things while "under the influence" that cause regret afterwards. Becoming more moody, jealous or irritable after drinking. Being irritated when family or friends discuss drinking. Feeling guilty about drinking. Not being able to enjoy an event without alcohol. Using much more than other people in a social gathering. Neglecting responsibilities in order to use alcohol. Losing time from duty due to drinking. Family, friends or supervisor expressing concern about alcohol use. Being willing to do almost anything to get alcohol. Financial or legal problems from using alcohol."
Now, if you decide Kristin might be an alcoholic, you should have a serious talk with her and ask her to get some help.
If Kristin is, you decide, just a heavy social drinker, then you need to consider whether you want to stay in a relationship with someone who is so into that lifestyle. You don't share it, and so you feel like an outsider to it -- you're also not in sympathy with how it leads her to act (and I don't blame you). Do you want to base your future on a relationship with someone who drinks constantly, rolls home drunk, and throws up on the rug? You might assume she'll grow out of that behavior, but when you commit to someone longterm, you need to accept that they might not change and take them as is.
Bottom line is: You're not her parent. It's not up to you to monitor her drinking and make sure she doesn't go too far. Kristin should be monitoring herself. If she keeps getting drunk or binging after she's giving you her word that she won't do that, then she's not taking good care of herself and honoring your legitimate concerns for her well being and your relationship.
Should you just chill out, get a buzz on, and join the crowd? No, I don't think so. Nothing wrong with an occasional social drink or two -- but drinking out every night (or nearly so) and getting drunk often isn't the way to have a healthy, productive, valued life.
-- uriel
|
Linear Mode
