[jaleber]

Hi all!

I'm looking for some advice. I have been married to the love of my life for one year. We have been together for four years. A few days ago, she indicated to me that she wanted her space and her love for me has dwindled over the past year because of money issues. We have had a bad year with money. I quit my job to follow my dream and start my own company. It has not worked the way I would have liked. So now I work nights and never get to see yer. All of the sudden she is so so upset and won't even talk to me. I am absolutely devastated, I love her with all my heart. We have two wonderful children, and now she wants to be apart. She has indicated that she does not want to go to counseling or get help now. Right now, she wants to sell our house to get our of our financial troubles. I agree with her and want to do things together, but she blames me for all our money problems, even though we agreed on it together a year ago.

Again, I was just married June 21, 2003. How can love fade so much in one year. We were always so strong and so loving, just to have it trashed by money.

HELP

Thank you

[Papillon]

You don't indicate whether your wife also has a job,. I think it's wonderful that you are prepared to put in the hours necessary to make ends meet, and it doesn't sound like she appreciates that.

A marriage is a business, plain and simple, and it's unfair of her to be pointing fingers at you when it was a mutual decision. You don't see HER putting in late hours....

If selling the house is a viable option, then consider it. Don't let the house be a symbol of your marriage. If your love is strong then the house does not matter.

What does worry me is the claim that she "wants her space". You're working late, don't see her as much. How much more goddamn space does she want?

I smell a rat. I don't want to make you paranoid, but I'd look extremely carefully at the situation. The money excuse sounds a trifle convenient...