I'm 19 years old and I work in an office of mainly older women (25-45 years old), with about ten other guys (me being the youngest). There's this woman that works there that is very attractive, and she's 27 years old. Some of you may remember me making a similar topic about this a while ago, but I was wrong about a few details (including her age). When she first started working there about six months ago, I didn't really bother talking to her that much because, well, she's 27, which is very intimidating to me, and I figured that since I was only 19, she wouldn't want anything to do with me, anyway, especially since there were other guys that worked there that were her age. Well, she started talking to me A LOT....like ALL the time. She even asked me to go to a couple of parties with her, and I really wanted to, but like I said, I was intimidated by her age, so I never went. Even up to this day, I've noticed that she talks to all the other guys that work there, but she doesn't talk to them anywhere near as much as she talks to me. So, a couple of months passed, and she continued to talk to me a lot, but soon I began to notice that she was beginning to flirt with me a little, and so of course, I would flirt back with her. After a while, I began to get comfortable with her, and I wasn't intimidated by her anymore. For about the last two months, I've noticed that she touches me often. When I first noticed it, she would just touch my arm or my shoulder, or maybe "accidentally" brush up against me. Since then, she's been doing it a little more, and in different areas. Like for example, if she's kneeling to get something, and I'm standing up right next to her, when she's getting up, she'll put her hand on the inside of my leg, up towards the top, and stand up. Or, if I'm leaning up against a counter or something with my arms extended and my hands holding the edge, if she stops to talk to me, she makes sure that some part of her body is touching me, and she'll usually stand so that either her backside or her leg is touching my hand. Maybe the touching doesn't mean anything, I don't know, but I've always been told that touching is a sign that someone is interested, so....
Also, whenever we talk, we both ALWAYS make great eye contact. It's almost seems like a game to see who can hold eye contact the longest. Also, she's told me before that I'm a "sweetheart" and that I have a great smile (by the way, we both always smile when we talk to each other). But here's where I guess my trouble comes in....
When she first started working there, she told me she didn't have a boyfriend. Well, a couple of months ago, she started telling me about this guy that she was "seeing", but she always stressed several times that there was really nothing between them....that they just hung out or whatever. From the way she talks about him, it sounds like there is something between them, because she mentions his name a lot, and it sounds like they're together a lot, so I don't know. Anyway, not long ago, she asked me if I wanted to come over to her place that night (but there were going to be a few other people there, anyway, so...), and I wanted to go, but I had already had plans that night.
So I guess what I'm saying is that I can't really tell if she's interested in me or not. She talks about this guy all the time, but then she asks me to come over? (and chances are he was going to be there). Now we both (I guess) know that a real relationship is not likely at all, considering the age difference, but she seems to be at least physically interested in me, from what I've observed. Now this is probably going to sound bad, but....I like this woman, and I would definitely consider dating her if we were closer in age, but that won't happen, BUT.....if I was 100% sure that she was interested in some kind of sexual relationship, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But see, I don't know how I could get that across to her without being a jackass....plus, if she's not interested in me, if she's just been trying to be nice to me this whole time, I wouldn't want her to get cold around me and start avoiding and ignoring me, because I really do enjoy talking to her.
So I guess my questions are:
Do you think I am right in assuming she may be interested in me in some way?
How could I go about finding out without things getting weird between us?
Is it wrong to feel the way I do?
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Last edited by Nick Diamond; 9th August 2004 at 11:32 PM..
YOu seem really genuine and niave so my heart goes out to you.. Here is the best advice I can give.
Your friend is definately intersted in keeping you aroused and interested in her. I doubt very seriously that she wants a real relationship with you. Women dont put there hands on the inside of a mans thigh when they are interested in a serious relationship with someone (reason being: we dont want our potential mate to think we are a slut). When we do put our hands on the inside of your thigh then we want crazy monkey sex.
Your 27 year old friend is a sex freak. She likes to have sex with younger men and she is not disturbed by having sex with a 19 year old even though she is 27. The guy she is seeing is no obstacle to the two of you ending up in hot, sweaty passion in the very near future and I wouldn't give the guy she is mentioning a second thought.
A word of caution though....Dont even begin to think about this girl in a serious way. She is indeed way too old for you and she will outgrow the sex with you very quickly and you could end up getting hurt if you look at this as a real full fledged relationship. And if you do have serious feelings for her then you should avoid sleeping with her. If not then... I suggest you...
Look at this as an adventure and perhaps the potential to learn about sex from someone who has more experience then you. Be careful though... I mean use a condom. The girl has definately been around.
Oh ... you asked what to do. Well go over to her house when she invites you once. Or go out with her when you have been invited. The right moment will eventually present itself. Then you should just put your arm around her and go for kissing her. The rest I am sure will take care of itself.
P.S. Am intersted in how this will turn out. Keep me posted champ.
I don't agree that you're being naive - I think you see all the options clearly, including the possibility that she only wants sex.
With that in mind, I would advise you to be extremely careful, because it's entirely possible that she DOESN'T want to bump uglies. I'd guess that you are pretty mature for your age, or simply that she finds your yonger attitude towards life more interesting and refreshing than that of the older men. Some women are just naturally physically touchy feely without having another motive, so be careful.
It can also mean that she simple sees you as an easy score (what women wouldn't want to be adored by a younger man), and that would put me right off. Go find your ego trips elsewhere, ma'am.
You also have to take into account that the two of you work together, and that any personal relationship will directly affect the professional one. If the sex goes sour, so wll the work atmosphere.
Ok, that dispenses with the good advice.
Now, if I were you, I would screw the hell out of her. I would make her beg for mercy, and then for more. You're still young. **** her with good intentions, but don't get too emotionally attached.
Originally posted by Papillon
I don't agree that you're being naive - I think you see all the options clearly, including the possibility that she only wants sex.
So you don't think I'm wrong, here, in assuming she's interested?
Quote:
Originally posted by Papillon
You also have to take into account that the two of you work together, and that any personal relationship will directly affect the professional one. If the sex goes sour, so wll the work atmosphere.
Yeah, I forgot to put in my original post that maybe she's holding back or knows that since we work together, it might not be such a good idea to do anything right now...I dont' know.
Quote:
Originally posted by Papillon
Some women are just naturally physically touchy feely without having another motive, so be careful.
Yeah, that is true, but I've never noticed her touching any of the other guys that work there, but then again, I don't follow her around and watch her every move....it's just something I've noticed when I have seen her around the other guys. Like I said, though, sometimes she can be subtle (touching my arm, shoulder, etc) and other times it can be not so subtle (touching my leg or stomach). And sometimes, for example, like when she touches my hand with her leg and keeps it there, it makes me wonder if she's doing it on purpose or if she even realizes she's doing it....I have no idea. But I'm not complaining.
Nick Diamond wrote: Well, a couple of months ago, she started telling me about this guy that she was "seeing", but she always stressed several times that there was really nothing between them....that they just hung out or whatever. From the way she talks about him, it sounds like there is something between them, because she mentions his name a lot, and it sounds like they're together a lot, so I don't know.
Um, excuse me. But if there is ANY doubt about whether she is in a relationship then DO NOT become the other man and start sleeping with her.
Did anyone catch this? I can't believe that some posters are advocating cheating!
(BTW: there is an 8 year difference in ages between my husband and myself, and the man who wanted to have an affair with me is 14 years younger than me [no, we did not have an affair--we discussed it and then distanced ourselves])
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Last edited by HokeyReligions; 10th August 2004 at 7:04 PM..
Reason: Hokey Can't Spell
Oh yeah....just a couple more details I forgot to leave out of the original post.
1. Her and that one guy hang out together with her friends all the time, and she's only asked me to do stuff like three or four times, and it was always while her friends were going to be with her. She's never asked me to do anything with just her.
2. She's never asked for my phone number....but then again, I've never asked for her's. But it's not like I can say, "Hey, what's your phone number so I can call you sometime to see if you want to hang out with me and my immature 19-year-old friends?" There again.....see, I'd like for at least one of us to have the other's number, but I don't want to ask for her's because there's that thought in the back of my mind that she's not interested in anything with me.
Originally posted by HokeyReligions
Um, excuse me. But if there is ANY doubt about whether she is in a relationship then DO NOT become the other man and start sleeping with her.
Oh, I definitely wouldn't do anything with her if I KNEW she was in a relationship....don't get me wrong. But, she has stressed to me several times that they just go hang out together with all of their friends, and that there's no relationship.
What I was getting at when I said that I wasn't sure if there was something between them or not is that, well.....she mentions him a lot. Plus, in the past, if I was ever attracted to a girl in school or whatever, I would always try be around them and hang out with them as much as possible, which is what they do.
Look I am definately sure she is interested in you. I think it is just plain ignorant when people try to explain the obvious in a wierd and convoluted way. The earlier post saying that maybe she is like that with all men is crap. Women do that when they want to have sex---- period, end of story.
The thing I am noticing here that may be a problem to this whole thing is that you really seem to like her. You must give yourself some pause here because you just don't need to get tangled up in something like this.
As far as your jobs go who cares? ITs not like the two of you are NASA rocket scientists and you are forced to work together. Obviously either can find another job if things go bad.
My point though is that nothing needs to go bad if you just have fun and sex with her which I am sure is all she really wants.
So just wait for the opportune moment to present itself, which I am pretty sure it will. She will invite you again somewhere or something and next time you will go and f*** her brains out (someone wrote this earlier and he was the only other sane poster here). If she doesn't invite you ... its not like you have to say "come hang out with me and my immature friends". Why cant you say "hey there is this movie playing that I really wanted to see and I thought you might appreciate to see it with me". Or something similar.
Good luck dude.. Dont get tangled in the web.....Just have fun.
Originally posted by overseas2004
Look I am definately sure she is interested in you. I think it is just plain ignorant when people try to explain the obvious in a wierd and convoluted way. The earlier post saying that maybe she is like that with all men is crap. Women do that when they want to have sex---- period, end of story.
The thing I am noticing here that may be a problem to this whole thing is that you really seem to like her. You must give yourself some pause here because you just don't need to get tangled up in something like this.
As far as your jobs go who cares? ITs not like the two of you are NASA rocket scientists and you are forced to work together. Obviously either can find another job if things go bad.
My point though is that nothing needs to go bad if you just have fun and sex with her which I am sure is all she really wants.
So just wait for the opportune moment to present itself, which I am pretty sure it will. She will invite you again somewhere or something and next time you will go and f*** her brains out (someone wrote this earlier and he was the only other sane poster here). If she doesn't invite you ... its not like you have to say "come hang out with me and my immature friends". Why cant you say "hey there is this movie playing that I really wanted to see and I thought you might appreciate to see it with me". Or something similar.
Good luck dude.. Dont get tangled in the web.....Just have fun.
Thanks for that advice. I've noticed just in the past two days that she's been touching me more frequently than usual. There's been a lot of "unnecessary" touching (brushing up against me), along with purposely touching my arms and shoulders a lot.....she even touched my butt once. I'm actually still 18, but my birthday is Aug. 18, which is next Wednesday, and she knows when it is, so maybe she'll ask if I'm doing anything on that day. If not, I'll ask her.
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(and chances are he was going to be there). Now we both (I guess) know that a real relationship is not likely at all, considering the age difference, but she seems to be at least physically interested in me, from what I've observed. Now this is probably going to sound bad, but....I like this woman, and I would definitely consider dating her if we were closer in age, but that won't happen, BUT.....if I was 100% sure that she was interested in some kind of sexual relationship, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But see, I don't know how I could get that across to her without being a jackass....plus, if she's not interested in me, if she's just been trying to be nice to me this whole time, I wouldn't want her to get cold around me and start avoiding and ignoring me, because I really do enjoy talking to her.
Since when is 25 older???
Sorry to make that range so broad (25-45)....but I'm 19, so 25 is older to me....not OLD, but oldER. 
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