[jordan77]

I am desperate for some advice and don't want to go to friends yet. Here's the situation. I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and we live together with my son (previous marriage).

A few months ago I he left his instant message account on and I saw a his conversation to his ex-girlfriend. It was very graphic describing how they used to have sex together and included phrases like
"I still think about us all the time....we never even tried to work things out...."

Obviously I confronted him and we even split for a few weeks. When we decided to try and work things out I put spy software on our computer. I know this was wrong, but I don't ever want to be "the last to know". The other day they talked again...the first time in awhile (although they email each other from his office account and who knows what is being said there). He was more conservative this time but still bad-mouthed me to her and said how much he missed her. All of this would not have bothered me so much, but at one point in the conversation he thought he heard me come home and talked about how freaked out he was. She was trying to get him to come and see her and tried to get him to talk about having sex with her. He refrained (barely, and with no mention to his relationship with me), but said he would try to visit.

I am not usually the jealous type, but I also believe that this is extremely disrespectful of us. I don't know whether to cut my losses and leave or accept that she lives far away and this is possibly harmless.

What does everyone else think??