[adarkcloud]

Ok, so I'm 16, I've been sexually active for about a year now, and I'm dating a 24 year old who has a 6 year old kid. Well as if that wasn't weird enough, My sister has a bf 7 years older then her, and my mom married my dad when she was 19 and he was 14 years older then her!!! so it kinda runs in the family i figure? Thats not my problem though. He is 24, apparently has had a lot more sex than I have, and has more experience. I really want to know he is happy and that I'm pleasing him. I've never given oral sex before, I kind of want to because I would like to please him, but im embarressed I might not be very good, and I have a ton of questions about that. I am also not very loud in bed, and he wants me to scream out his name and stuff, Im embarressed to do such things, but i shouldn't be if thats what would make him happy. He thinks that because Im not loud in bed that he isn't pleasing me. I tell him over and over that he is. Im very shy in bed, and Im growing more comfortable every time we have sex it seems like, but Im still really shy about changing positions and trying new things. I just want to make him happy, apparently he likes me if he is willing to stay with me even though i SUCK at sex right now. Do any of you have any advice on how to become more comfortable, things i might want to try. Anything help would be appreciated. Thank you

[honey2005]

If you're having sex with him just because you want to make him happy and keep him around, you really should stop. Just because he is sticking around and continuing to have sex with you even though you're quiet and not experienced doesn't mean he really likes you. It means he's horny and you're there to have sex with. Sorry if I sound harsh, but what he's doing is illegal. He should be having sex with people his own age. I understand you think that it runs in the family, but you can get with an older guy after you become an adult, not while you're still a child. (I'm a child, too, so don't take it personally.) What if he gets you pregnant? Do you really think you're ready to be a mother? If not, why are you committing yourself to a man who has a 6 year old kid?

If you don't feel comfortable doing something, don't do. You don't have to give him oral if you don't want, and you don't have to scream in bed.

Im embarressed to do such things, but i shouldn't be if thats what would make him happy

It sounds like you're just having sex with him to make him happy. You shouldn't be doing that. You should be out having fun with people your own age, not doing things that embarass you to please someone almost 10 years older than you.

[adarkcloud]

I can see how it looks that way, and don't get me wrong I'm having sex to make him happy and it makes me happy, but I'm not just doing it to keep him around. He always tells me "if I don't want to do something with him, don't" I know its illegal, His whole family knows we are together, my whole family knows we're together, its like any other relationship except for there are laws against it. As long as we're not having sex in public nothing will happen though because my mom wont press charges, nor will his family. I'm on birth control so its very unlikely for me to get pregnant, Im very open with my mom, she knows im sexually active, and she knows im responsible about who I sleep with. Me and chris (my bf) were best friends for at least 6 months before we were every anything more. I was there for him when he would have girl problems, he was there for me when i would have boy problems and family problems. He has always been there for me. His 6 year old kid I don't even think is really his but he took responsibility for the kid with out a doubt because thats the type of man he is. His kid makes him who he is today, and I am with him because I love who he is, and with that, I have to accept the fact he has a son. See I want to make him happy, not to keep him around, because I know he'll stay around whether I give him oral or am louder in bed, or not. But the fact that I know he wants those things, I think it would be a good idea to try them, right? The only reason I don't want to give oral is because Im affraid i won't be as good as maybe some he has gotten before, I really would like to try things to make him happy, just a little shy.

[honey2005]

If he really loves you it won't matter if you're not as good as the girl's he's been with before because he won't compare you to them. I advise using a condom as well as birth control. For one, birth control is only about 98% effective ( as is the condom) and birth control can not protect against STD's.

[adarkcloud]

not too worried about stds, we got tested together, and we're both clean. If he went out and cheated and picked something up, that would be a different story but I'm not worried about him cheating on me. He said when I am comfortable enough to give oral, It will be great because he knows its something I havn't done for anyone except for him. Kind of like another step in the realationship I see it as. It will show im more comfortable with him, want to make him as happy as I can, and stuff like that. If you could see it from my point of view, It wouldn't just look like Im trying to do stuff sexually to keep him around, because thats not it at all. But like while I'm on my period and stuff, I feel bad because he has to go a week with just his hand and some lotion because I can't really do much to help him out. Oh which brings up another question. Sex in the shower during your period, good or bad idea?

[honey2005]

Well it depends on how you feel. If you're having major cramps, you may not feel up to it (but some people say sex relieves cramps, but I haven't tried it). Some people have sex outside of the shower, like over a towel when they're on their period. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, or he doesn't feel comfortable, don't do it. He said to wait and do oral when you're comfortable, so I really doubt he would want you to force yourself into doing it. Just wait till you're really read, then take that step. But I stress to you that birth control is not 100% effective...

[adarkcloud]

I know birth controll isn't 100 percent effective. he also "pulls out" which also isn't 100 percent.. and precum is just as bad as cum I know all this, It is a risk I'm willing to take??? I would love to have sex with him, whether Im on my period or not, I just don't know how he feels about that.

[honey2005]

Well ask him how he would feel about. If you're both up for doing it, go for it.

[faux]

You are sixteen, and he is twenty four?

I hope you realize that he is breaking the law by being involved with you. Any form of sexual contact between the two of you, which could even include kissing, would be a felony charge. If he is found out, he may have to register as a sex offender.

A man that age has absolutely no business fraternizing with a girl your age. I find it disgusting and it freaks me out. There is nothing that a twenty four year old man could have in common with you to form the basis for a solid relationship. Besides that, it is completely illegal.

Seeing as you are not as of yet eighteen years old, and cannot consent, the law is written in such a way that your situation translates to the following: Every time you do anything sexual with this man, he is raping you.

If you are eighteen or older, any person under the age of eighteen is off limits. I know quite a few people who believed otherwise from various places in the USA, and all of them have done some sort of jail time.

Edit:

Ah. You do know it is illegal. Forgive me for saying, but your family and his family are {wrong} for not calling the cops on his sick mind. If any person finds out at all, word could slip and this guy could end up in serious trouble. Why in the world would you want to remain in a relationship knowing it is illegal? Finding someone of your age would be much better, no?

[UCFKevin]

That is F*CKED up. This will more than likely offend you but your boyfriend has problems. He's almost a DECADE older than you, probably graduated from college, and you can't even get into R rated movies.

[adarkcloud]

everyone is entitled to there own opinion. His family accepts me, and my family is accepting of him. Thats all that matters to me. So back on subject now, does anyone have any advice about how to become more comfortable with your partner in bed?

[shortymd11]

honestly you just need to get into it. once you're into it you'll do anything and not even think about what he thinks or anybody thinks.

[UCFKevin]

I can't focus on that subject knowing that your parents and his are okay with this insanity. You know what would happen if the cops somehow found out, right?

It doesn't bother you that this almost GROWN MAN is seeing a girl who JUST earned the right to drive? That he can't get a woman his own age and has to go waaaaaaaaay younger?

[moimeme]

Well, I don't know for sure about this, but isn't telling someone who's going to commit a criminal act how to commit a criminal act a felony in itself?

[EC]

I agree that she should not be with so much of an older man and that this older man had issues but she'll probably get bored of him in the future anyways..but..

She's not asking tell me if what I'm doing is right she's asking how do you feel more comfortable in bed?

Well.. I found for me that experimenting with myself alone I figured out what I liked and what I didn't like and was able to be more confident in bed.

If your embarrassed about screaming then don't do it. Your not a porn star your his gf. Only do it if it comes out and you want to scream.

The only way to become more comfortable is to practice, practice, practice. lol

Practice makes perfect and the more you do it the more confident you will become in bed.

(I still think it's creepy..ur too young...)