[azndawg]

Hello all

My g/f and I have been going out for about 16 months now and there have been some rocky parts to our relationship. I love her very much and I know she feels the same way. She is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with but there are some obstacles in the way. The main problem now is that she feels jealous when I'm with other girls and she hates feeling jealous.

It's actually my fault that she feels jealous and doesn't totally trust me. It isn't because I cheated on her but because I conditioned her to feel that way. I had a misconception that jealousy equated to caring and that those who love each other will become jealous in certain situations. So everytime I was innocently with another girl I always made sure it was ok with her and was surprised when she didn't mind. Constantly asking her if she was jealous made her rethink and now she is jealous when I'm with other girls. I had wanted her to feel jealous and I got my wish but now I know differently and want to reverse the effects. I now realize that jealousy doesn't equal caring but that it equals mistrust.

I trust her totally when she is with her guy friends and she wants to feel the same way with me and my girl friends. She doesn't like the person that I turned her into and it will make the relationship very hard to maintain if she doesn't trust me. Now I need to find a way to gain back that trust due to the stupid mistakes that I made. She is the greatest g/f that I could ask for and she puts up with so much negative stuff that I have given her. I don't want her to be angry and jealous at me anymore and I need some advice on how to change what I have caused.

[Fayebelle]

Now you have to undo the monster you've created.

I would guess since you were able to condition her to be jealous than you SHOULD be able to reverse that conditioning. But it's gonna take a LOOONG time- longer than it took you to make her feel this way b/c now she's gonna be conflicted over what her true natural feelings are.

Always reassure her of your love and that no woman would stand a chance when placed beside her. Let her meet your girl friends and see that she has nothing to fear.

And let this be a lesson that manipulation of others can and will come back to bite you in the end.

[WhiteDragon]

I totally agree with Fay...
Just sit her down and tell her how you feel about it all.

[azndawg]

yea i know..i talked to her about it for an hour last night and that's why i decided to post about it today. she says since i made her into a jealous person that she may get angry at me when she gets jealous. she says that i have to be prepared to always think about everythin i do and make sure it won't make her jealous. i don't want to be afraid all the time for our relationship. she definitely doesn't wanna feel this way and she says she doesn't know if there's any way to reverse the effects. please..any advice from anybody will help