Divorce is Nearly Over Now, But, I Wonder...

digger · 31st July 2004, 1:56 PM

so the divorce is over in 7 days after 5 months of this hell. And after 21 yrs of holding each other. I havent spoken to her in 6 wks--havent emailed anything in 2 weeks. I wonder if shes sitting at home and wondering if its the right thing to do? I wonder if any of the good memories have entered her head. I wonder if she wonders what im doing or why i quit writing. I wonder if shes really happy now. And i wonder whether her 'foolish pride' is making her go thru with it (to late to back out now)! She knows i love her to death. I wonder if in the end that all really matters.

31st July 2004, 3:46 PM

Who filed for divorce? You were married for 21 years? I just can't imagine being with someone that long and then it ends. I was married for less than a year and I'm going thru the exact same feelings you are. I was recently divorced and we've not spoken since.

Not a minute goes by that I'm not wondering what he's doing, what he's thinking - does he still love me, etc.

It sounds like she's divorcing you. If so I can guarantee that she's feeling the same way I am. I regret it, wish I could take back everything and reconcile, I miss him, I still love him - but my pride and his kept us from working things out - it became a battle of wills. No one wanted to give in.

Even now I want to reach back out to him and tell him I still love him - but can't.

meanon · 31st July 2004, 8:09 PM

I'm sure she remembers the good times, digger and still cares for you. Divorce after such a long marriage would never be an easy option but because of that I think it unlikely that it was undertaken lightly or without a great deal of soul searching. If there is any doubt in your mind then you need to make sure by contacting her. Love matters, it's true, but it's not the only thing that matters.

Camelot - I've often noticed that (within limits) pride is closely linked with self esteem. If we are fairly secure we are prepared to risk more of ourself than if our ego is fragile. Ask yourself what you have to lose by contacting your ex - if it didn't work out would it really be too much for you to live with?