My boyfriend told me he doesnt love me anymore but he wants to stay together

bellejolie · 29th July 2004, 10:40 AM

[font=arial][/font] My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 months and when things started to get weird between us I asked him what was up. He insisted nothing was wrong so I asked if he still loved me. His response? "Well now that you mention it... I'd have to say I dont"! He told me he didnt want to break up because he wants to try to fix things, he wants to love me agian. But I feel so alone knowing that he doesnt feel the same way about me as he used to or as I feel about him. Please offer ANY advice!

Debster · 29th July 2004, 10:42 AM

Did he ever say he loved you?
If not, then at 13 months, you can't turn it around and make someone love you.

If he did, did he say what changed? Were you arguing? Did your behaviour/actions change? Did his? Are you spending enough time together?

bellejolie · 29th July 2004, 10:45 AM

Thats the thing... he's been telling me he loves me since month 4! and even now he confirms that he did love me. He just said that he started to feel like he was "using me" what does that mean? And nothing's changed at all. We're both the same, we still spend time together almost every day. and every change that has taken place we've talked about and made sure that we're both okay with.

jamie bowling · 29th August 2004, 9:04 AM

my boyfriend and i been togeather for two years, we used to live togeather and it took him awhile but he eventually loved me, any way i did something that hurt him even though we werent togeather any more, he lost trust, just about 2 months ago we got back togeather and just recently found out he dont love me, he said it takes time, but he still wants to be togeather.

jamie bowling · 29th August 2004, 9:10 AM

i feel your pain it is a lonly feeling to know your loving alone, if he still with you theres something there that he doesny wanna let go, all we can do is give it time. my boyfriend asked me if we were getting married and every thing, that made me think he loved me, i really dont understand guys, keep your head up and keep praying, if he cant love you, you have your self to love you.

bye

sunnilynn17 · 23rd November 2004, 8:53 PM

i think its the lucky number 13 curse. I was currently in a relationship.. in the 13th month, he wasn't sure if he loved me or could give me the kinda relationship like what we had in the beginning. Currently we are on day 2 of our "break". I havent talked to him.. if he loves me, he'll come back. I love him, but you never want to change someone's mind.. they need to figure it out for themselves.

WantanS4 · 24th November 2004, 2:29 PM

As I see it, he just wants to have an insured piece of a$$!....................

I know it hurts, but ditch him...... and do NC...... he'll come around.

kiwi29f · 24th November 2004, 4:11 PM

[/quote].]As I see it, he just wants to have an insured piece of a$$!............[/quote]

I agree with that. My ex bf told me the same thing alittle over a year into our relationship. Can't remember if it was month 13 or not but he told me he loved me but wasn't "in" love with me anymore. WTF?? We stayed together for about another year before things got really bad, but I think I was his "safe havan". We broke up a few times & go screw some other girl then come crying & wanting me back. I would always take him back. He was also cheating on me too, I was just in denial. Some guys are just like this. This is the same guy who cheated on me the day after I had a miscarriage with his child, while I was still in the hospital. I loved him but finally got up enough courage to leave him, mostly b/c my now husband showed me how I desearved to be treated.][/quote]

bigacesteve · 25th November 2004, 11:35 AM

I agree with WantanS4. Maybe this guy needs to realise what he stands to lose if you were to go. If you're always in each others faces try doing something away from him a few nights a week. It's like a little break from each other without it being a 'break'. 2-3 nights a week go the gym or learn Spanish or something? If you don't live with him it's even easier.

Every relationship at some point seems like a habit and the grass starts to look a little greener elsewhere. I was in this situation myself about 6 months ago. My ex was constantly around my house every night, I had no personal space whatsoever; she would want to go everywhere with me. Everynight I'd get home from work and I'd think "she'll be around again tonight and I've got so many things to do." I just needed a bit of space to myself. I thought I was falling out of love with her but really I loved her greatly, she was just saturating me. The nights she didn't come around I missed her greatly and that was when I realised I did really love her.

Try giving him a little personal space, hopefully he'll realise he's being an arse when you're not around and realise he's a lucky man.

If you hardly see each other anyway, scrap what I just said and bin the tosser before you get really hurt in another few months, year, etc.

15th December 2004, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bellejolie
[font=arial][/font] My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 months and when things started to get weird between us I asked him what was up. He insisted nothing was wrong so I asked if he still loved me. His response? "Well now that you mention it... I'd have to say I dont"! He told me he didnt want to break up because he wants to try to fix things, he wants to love me agian. But I feel so alone knowing that he doesnt feel the same way about me as he used to or as I feel about him. Please offer ANY advice!

Hey I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we have been fighting. He is geting held back and says that since we are going to be in 2 different schools that we should break up. Well I really want to stay together I think that we could try to work something out. But then last night I was talkng to him and he was trying to set me up with this high school boy that I don't even know, I really just want to stay together with him but I don't know what I should do can someone help me

aFighter · 15th December 2004, 1:17 PM

This is 100% personal opinion but if my gf said she didn't love me blah blah It'd be good bye. I'm not going to waste my time and effort into trying to make something work when the other is only "along for the free ride".
No way I'd settle for a loveless relationship.

Naive · 15th December 2004, 1:25 PM

He is not being fair to you. He is keeping you from finding someone who WILL love you. From what I read I think that he is just stringing you along until he finds someone else then it will be adios for you.