[flowerlover]

Hi! I'm new here and could really use some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for six years. We have a great relationship and are very happy together. We both are hardworking, independent and very committed to each other. We initially moved in together after only seven months of being together. It was a decision that we both made, and we were fine with it, but once we did that, there was an immediate assumption by EVERYONE around us (friends, family, coworkers) that we were planning to get married. Immediately, we were inundated with questions such as "So when are you getting engaged?", "When's the wedding?", etc. This has now been going on for more than five years, and it has started to cause some strain on our relationship. We have discussed marriage often over the last five years or so and have concluded that it is something that we will do when the time is right, but that we are not in any rush for. The problem is that our family and friends don't seem to believe that. They still keep asking questions and make us feel like there must be something wrong with our relationship because we're not married, or that the relationship must not be that serious because we're not married. I don't think that it is intentional... I think they truly want to help. It has always astounded me how most people are so casual about inquiring about marriage and relationships when they are such personal, private issues! Quite frankly, I'm really getting tired of the pressure and being made to feel like my relationship is somehow flawed or not as important as it would be if we were married. It's to the point where I want to scream when people ask us questions about it. I am 30 and my boyfriend is 29, so it's not like we're little kids. We are happy and we know what we want, but our family and friends can't seem to understand that we're content right now not to be married. We've tried on several occasions to politely explain our situation and convince people that we're fine and that we're happy, but they either don't believe us or they start telling us that we're wrong. Many of them even start preaching (literally) that it's not in God's plan to do things the way we do and that we're just heading for trouble, etc. I'm not quite sure what to do. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? It's really starting to stress me out!