[Riff Randall]

My parents and in-laws are driving us crazy! We live in CA and cannot afford to any longer, so have been planning a move out of state for over a year. My parents offered us money for a down payment to buy a house a long time ago but they are not offering enough to buy a house here, yet they say if we move out of state we can't have the money at all. ILs said they would help DH look for a job in FL, where we want to move, then they send him links for jobs in AZ, where THEY live and want us to move.

Why don't they get it? We are both responsible adults with one child and another one on the way, yet they treat us like we can't make our own decisions. Our financial problems here are insurmountable as we live in one of the most expensive metro areas in the US, yet they refuse to help us achieve our goal of buying a home where our family can live comfortably. We can't even afford prescription meds or dentist visits at this point, we only have one car, and already filed bankruptcy a year ago.

Help!

[StartingAgain]

Tell them to keep their money and their big noses out of your life. At some point a lot of people have to tell M&D to butt out and stay out. Loving parents who want to helpt their children do so without conditions. Controlling parents always place conditions on their assistance.

[Riff Randall]

The thing that pisses me off is that we are struggling so much and didn't ASK them for the money, they OFFERED. It will be much more difficult to move and buy a house without their help, we will have to sacrifice a lot. They try to guilt trip us with tales of how they will never see the grandchildren again but I think they love their money more than anything. We are not speaking now, and it's not the first time. It's just difficult and frustrating. THEY PROMISED! Of course, it's not the first time they promised something and didn't deliver, either