Is this a "typical" other woman situation or am I in the TWILIGHT ZONE??
Hi Everyone! Well, I'm a little new at this, so please bear with me while I bare all to u...... I'm a 32 y/o F who has been involved with a 53 y/o M since the end of March this year. I worked at a warehouse for 2 years & knew "Al" who was 1 of the supervisors there. My live-in BF also worked there. Al was always funny & cracking jokes I always thought he was nice...1 day I was arguing with my BF at work ( cause I had just moved out & he was mad-this was Feb.) & I was crying & Al came up to me & said "are u done with him?" I said yes, & Al said"If u need anything let me know". Then in March 1 of the other people there "Brad" liked me & I was kinda interested- Al heard about it & acted concerned & tried to warn me about what a liar & BS'er Brad was. Then Al asked me to go with him for drinks after work & I did. The 3rd time we went for drinks he hit on me & I kissed him. Then it progressed to making out in the car the next few times. Then Brad called me on my cell while I was with Al & he THREATENED Brad's job if he called me again! (grabbed the cell out of my hand)
This guy is on his 3rd marriage, no kids said they are comfortable but he's not happy & he fell in love with me. He started trouble with my ex AT WORK in front of everyone, got knocked out, made no secret of flaunting everything. My ex got fired, when I got upset he had EMS come there (chest pains) & he texted me to remember he loved me till the very end! Then he was fine, but went back again & stayed for a week with me there constantly, he left the house broke (the wife knew all this) then we got a hotel for 5 days until he went back to work. He said he had to go back to sell the house & get a divorce still sees me everyday after work, & he says we're getting married as soon as the divorce is final. Ok the KICKER-------- He has diabetes, high blood pressure, had a bypass 7 years ago, & has certain "male dysfunction" due to that & medication so we've been unable to actually "consumate" our relationship that way......He goes crazy threatening to kill himself & if I left him it would kill him, & he obviously hasn't gone through all this to be with me for sex, it's because he loves me so very much & to let him work things out so he doesn't totally lose everything, so that he has something & to trust him. He told her it was over between us the beginning of June. He only kept it cool for 1 week, but still called constantly. Now he's totally gung-ho, & when I told him people at the warehouse were talking, he wants everyone to know that we are together & getting married! 70 people know the whole situation & he caused it & was upset when I tried to let people think it was over.Anyway, I heard a voice message he left for his wife, it said I'll be with the neighbor call his cell, I love you bye".Apparently he says it's hard to leave a double life but we will be together. He even had his 23 y/o son from out of town (he has no kids with this wife) get him out of the house late to see me, he let's everyone know except for her & he told me he told her it was over between us to get back in the house & get more stuff. He even opened up a checking account in his name for his check instead of having it direct deposited in their joint account. Is this typical behavior for a married man?? I want to believe him, but do they ever mean it????
Honestly, the man sounds like a bit of a psycho. He fires one guy over you and threatens another one's job. He threatens suicide if you say you want to leave.
Also, he's on his third marriage. At that point, you have to assume the problem wasn't with the wives, it was with him.
He seems unstable. Run.
PS: What is it with the women always getting involved with the supervisors/bosses? Is it some sort of power thing that turns you on? Weird...
The man has problems. Why are you with a MM anyway?
If he is trying to control you and manipulate you with the death threats, etc. then he is succeeding. Why let him do that to you? You are not responsible for him.
Besides this man being a nut job, do you really want to be taking care of him and his health issues over the years? If he had a heart bypass 7 years ago, then give it about 3 more years before he'll need another. They don't last much longer then 10 years. His high blood pressure is only worsening his heart problems by weakening his blood vessels. With the way he is acting and carrying on, I say he'll aggrivate and stress himself out too much and end up having a massive heart attack in a few years.
Find someone more your own age without major life threatening health issues, and preferably SINGLE!!
__________________
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on someone who walks in just when you get it right." ~Unknown
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Only when you look into your heart.
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He who looks inside, awakens." ~Carl Jung
he obviously hasn't gone through all this to be with me for sex, it's because he loves me so very much
he obviously hasn't gone through all this to be with you for sex, it's because he so very much wants to control and manipulate you.
I agree with everyone else. He is not just a repellent loser who is abusing his supervisory authority, he is psycho too! And on top of it all he can't even have sex. Wow. If you're going to cheat, please do it with someone who is physically able, for heaven's sake. Whatever or whoever your live-in BF may be, I have to believe that he is not as much of a walking disaster as this fellow.
Or is this a(nother) case where you are determined to shoot your own foot off for no reason? If so, please remember that we warned you.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
LOL Well, he was in Vietnam & when we stayed in the hotel he had a bottle of generic Prozac (but it was prescribed to his wife-her name was on the bottle-why he had it I don't know)! As for the work/supervisor comment I was quitting anyway (I had a 30 day notice in already) & he was getting transferred to another warehouse anyway, I knew this before. As for what the attraction is, it's hard to explain it! We do actually get along very well..........I guess I'll see what develops, but I won't put my eggs all in 1 basket either. Sex isn't everything as far as I'm concerned, it seems to bother him though...... Thanks for all replies
Oh, why am I with a MM anyway? good question....it honestly wasn't anything I planned it or that I ever aspired to be with one. But then again, how many women actually think to themselves, "Oh, I only want a MM"??? Well, there probably are some, but I have never actively sought one out. It seems MM's are more likely to be the predators than the prey.........now that I think about it! I fell for him adamantly, constantly, & consistently stating that the marriage is over & that we are getting married after the divorce & that it shouldn't be more than 3-4 months. LOL Well, let's put it this way, I can assure u that if that's not the case, I'm gone.....or maybe before. My live-in BF & I were already done, by the way. Ha, & the ironic thing is, "Al" said he would never have approached me inthat way if I was still with my BF!!! When I told him that was ironic, he said but he already knows his marriage is over & he would have never approached ME if he was happy!!! Geez.sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing...........Is it normal behavior for MM to flaunt it, & tell everyone (that can call & tell his wife) that he is divorcing her? Also, when a few people at work questioned me about his wife (while I was still there), I told him about it, & he said to tell them all that he is leaving his wife & getting a divorce.. When I told him that I was going to say I hadn't talked to him when people asked, he got upset, he insisted on people thinking we were still togetether. Even though he's at another warehouse, he periodically goes back there & might be transferred back in 6 - 8 months. And I no longer work there, but my friends do.
My heart goes out to anyone who thinks they are in love, but you sound like a 22 yr old not a 32 yr old in the choices you are making. Wake up and get on with your life. Fix yourself and then a man who is worthy of a independant woman can fit. At this point you are a very co-dependant woman.
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this is your problem ... self-esteem
sweetie , 
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