[holdingon]

Help! I have been with my husband for 13 years and married 7. A wonderful marriage, no problems, both always happy, and with a one year old little boy. About 2 months ago I caught my husband talking to a younger (much Younger) girl on the phone. He swore he would stop and we spoke about why this happened. I was shocked! After discussing it for hours, he told me that the passion in our relationship was gone and we needed to make more time for ourselves. With a one year old, we were forgetting about "us". We committed to doing this and for the next month things were great! We were having more couple time, more romance, way more sex. I thought things were perfect. About 6 weeks later, I caught them talking again and now they were seeing each other occassionally. Well I went crazy and kicked him out. He stayed away for 3 weeks and continued to see her. He then begged me to come back, he broke it off with her and now he is home again. Last week, I caught him again. He tells me that he cannot give either of us up. He is afraid of losing me and knows that this relationship with this girl will not work but he is not willing to end it YET. The only reason i have hung on this long is for my son. Otherwise I would have closed the door the first time. He is extremely attached to his daddy and it breaks my heart to think of him growing up without him. My husband admits he wants both and I truly believe that he thinks he can be with this girl and when it doesnt work out he thinks he can come back here. I can't handle him leaving again. I want him to make a decision now but I also don't want to force him into her arms. Has anyone ever allowed their husband to continue having an affair because they know soon it will end?? Does that seem as crazy to you as it does to me??

Help, I am desperately trying to keep him!!

[She's Come Undone]

I can only comment on one thing...why is it that men "can't leave" their wives and women don't kick cheating husbands to the curb because "He is extremely attached to his daddy and it breaks my heart to think of him growing up without him."

My God do daddy's stop being daddy's when they get divorced? Do they never see their children again?

I know in some cases this is true, but is that the kind of person you would even WANT in your child's life?

If you can't do what's right for you, do right by your child. The sooner the better. He already has a part-time dad, divorce won't change that. And by part-time I mean the time he spends with Miss Young Butt should be spent with you and your baby.

BTW, I am a single mom. My son is a VERY happy child. He would not have been had his dad and I married.

[Debster]

I think he has already made his decision, and I'm sorry to say, it was not his marriage and family. How? The fact that you voiced your concerns and kicked him out and told him to get rid of her AND she is STILL around.

He's made his choice. He just doesn't have the balls to come to grips with it yet.

[EC]

Have some pride for yourself and stand up for yourself.

Let him know you will not put up with it and he CANNOT have both.

You deserve better than that and so does your son.

Kick him out for good and don't let him back in.

Like undone said he can still be a father after a divorce.