I met my girlfriend 7 months ago when she came and worked alongside me at the company I work for. We got very close, and on the Christmas holidays, she asked me out, and we fell in love fairly quickly.

At first I didn't want to rush anything and spoil it. She became so in love with me, and told me that she loved me with all her heart. She called me every night becasue she missed me, and wanted me so bad. I moved out into a new place and she came over often, and we deepened in our love.

She started telling me that she was so in love with me that she wanted to marry me and that it would make her so happy. I told that we shouldn't rush anything because I was falling madly in love with her, and i didn't want to stuff it up.

She asked me if I would marry her, and promised I would not leave her. By this stage, I was madly in love, and I couldn't resist any longer. I promised her what she wanted to hear.

Soon after this, she got a 3 week job away from home in a regional town. I was really worried because she said she would have to stay with another guy up there in a share house. For the first 2 weeks she messaged me every day, telling me she wanted to marry me, and that she loved me soooo much and missed me heaps.

A say after i got one of these messages, she told me that she didn't want to marry me anymore, and that she was lonely and wanted to come home because she desperately wanted affection.

This really worried me, and for the rest of the week she barely talked to me and was cold. When she got back, she said she was still in love but very confussed because she doesn't know what she wants. She told me that she wanted to sleep with her house mate, but didn't.

For 3 weeks they lived together and stayed up late watching romantic movies. Now I don't know what to do... I feel sick. I love her, but I think she will not remain faithful long.

Please help!! I cry every night.

i should add that what makes me worry even more is that when i met her she had only just broking up with her ex-boyfriend who she dated for 3 years . She said i shouldn't worry because because i was a billion times better. I found out a month ago that the reason she broke up is that she was confussed because she kissed another older man when she went away to work in a regional town... she was only away for 2 weeks ...she said she told her boyfriend because she felt so guilt and he took it rather well and forgave her... but she said to him that she no longer knew what she wanted and wanted to seperate for a week or so and see other people. Her boyfriend hated the idea becasue he was madly in love with her. Anyway, i think she broke his heart soo much that he ended up going out with an old friend of his because he didn't want her to break his heart again.

She says that she hates him so much because he said he loved her with all his heart and will always love her yet he started going out with someone else only a week after she broke up with him. I know this sounds like soap opera or something but the fact that she cheated on her ex-boyfriend who treated her like a goddess and loved her so much just really makes me worried that she'll do the same to me.

What really makes me worried is that the other night i told her how much i loved her and i asked her to promise me that she wouldn't cheat on me. All i was looking for was a bit of re-assurance that i could trust her, instead she got really angry at me for not trusting her and said that if i really loved her i wouldn't ask things like that. i went away hurt and cunfused ...her response just doesn't make sense to me

[Smoov]

If she doesn't know what she wants, she quite obviously doesn't want you. Why would you continue to pour your heart into a girl who doesn't know whether or not she loves you.

The best advice anyone can give you is to move on and let her find out "what she wants". Your putting in 110% in this girl and she's barely giving you 50%.

I know it is probably hard, but you deserve more than someone who is still searching for what they want. You need someone who is putting in as much into the relationship as you are.



Goodluck

[Fritz]

When she got back, she said she was still in love but very confussed because she doesn't know what she wants. She told me that she wanted to sleep with her house mate, but didn't.

Yeah sure she didn't, and I have a great bridge for sale..real cheap.

Sorry, thats probably too cynical. As much as it hurts, you've got to let her go "find herself" and probably move on. If you can't trust her and she isn't putting much into the relationship...whats the point? I'm sorry, 3 weeks and she can't go without "affection"? (either physical "affection or personal interaction beyond phone/net) How old are you guys? You paint her as an emotional basketcase...


Also, another 2 bit piece of advice: the "Don't dip the pen in company ink" axiom is still tossed about for some very reasons.

Originally posted by Fritz
Yeah sure she didn't, and I have a great bridge for sale..real cheap.

I love her soo much ...she says she hasn't and that she still loves me and that i should trust ...i don't want to dump her and find out later she was telling the truth. Its that fact that she said she loved me with all her heart and that she wanted to marry me and then the next day was wanting to sleep with someone else just shocked me and made me so made ...how can i trust her after that. she is doing exactly what she hated her last ex-boyfriend for ...saying that you love someone and then going back on it.

How old are you guys? You paint her as an emotional basketcase... .

i'm 24 and she is 21 but when i met her i thought she was very mature for her age ...i found out she lacks confidence and has low self-esteem ... i build her up all the time ... since i've been going out with her .. all her friends say that she has never been happier and her mum obsolutely loves me ... her uni grades are the best they have ever been ... i just feel abit used.

She is not the most sexiest girl in the world, but i think she is absolutly beautiful and i don't want to loose her. My gut tells me to get out before she can break my heart and does me too much emotional damage. I used to be a strong person but i feel like i give her everthing and not getting much back.

i want to trust her. i want to believe her. i don't want to destroy something that can become something very very special.