[greaze_munky]

This is going to sound like a really weird post, but is there something wrong with me?

my girlfriend of the last 15 months just broke up with me, because she needs sometime to sort out all the crap that has happened to her in the last few months (her mum has stopped talking to her, she's jsut had to move out into her own house, she's living with a girlfriend who she has been in a relationship with and is trying to just keep it as friends nothing more) so she feels she has too much to worry about, so doesn't want me in her life.

like an idiot i didn't know how to react and i got really upset, and both of us started crying and she started yelling and told me she hated me and never loved me and that i was never to come around to her house ever again. This made me so confused because 2 days earlier she told me how much she loved me, and how much she needed me in her life. so i have just not contacted her or seen her, even though i was absolutely dieing too. i rang her this afternoon to ask her if she would like to go out for a coffee tomorrow, and it was fine if she didn't want too, coz i wanted her to feel no pressure because i care about her. she said she'd call me back, and so i waited all day and she never did.

This is all fine i guess. i do love her, and i miss her badly but i don't know whether to tell her my feelings coz i don't want to pressure her or anything. The thing is that i had a chance to go out with a girl i have been good friends with since high school, and have wanted to go out with for about 4 years, but i don't think its fair for me to go out with her, because i no longer love her and when i look at her i see andy (my girl friend who just broke up with me). i am so hung up on waiting for andy to call me, everytime the phone rings i think its her, everytime there a knock at the door i think its her, everytime i see her model car drive passed i think its her. i can't stop thinking about her, and i keep replaying this one day when she said that 'nothing would ever come between us. i was way too important too her'.

Am I insane? this girl has broken my heart 3 times. but i still love her! how can i be with someone else when all i think about is her? We do have something very special together, its always been messed up by other people (everytime we have broken up someone close to her has does something really nasty to her and she needs time) and when we're together we're always happy and look foward to seeing each other. Is it worth waiting for her, or do i just try to move on?

[Mr Spock]

Your girlfriend was bi??

[greaze_munky]

yes and no. she has only ever had one lesbian relationship. but she has been out with a dozen guys.

[faux]

From reading what you have posted, I really think it would be best for you to move on. Try as hard as you can to not call her, and to not contact her in any way at all. If you see her when you are out, do not walk up to her to initiate conversation. Do not wait around for her.

You mention she is living with a girlfriend that she had a relationship with. This is shady to me. You also mention she has hurt you a few times quite badly. I honestly believe it would be best to have nothing to do with her at all. I notice you lapsed and phoned her, which might not have been such a good idea. Your mind is preoccupied with her constantly from your descriptions of phones ringing and passing cars.

It's going to take time for you to move on, and how much time I cannot say. Every little time you dial her number, or write her a note, or try to contact her, you are going to add much more time to your recovery.