Hi, I went out with this guy I work with for about a year - he was my first love and I fell very hard. Well 2 months ago I found out he was cheating (and had been cheating with others) for almost our whole relationship. I ended it and he is now with the girl he was cheating with.

The weird thing is, although I was absolutely devestated - beyond shattered - when I found out about his double life, I have never blamed him or felt any anger. I just feel rejected and wonder what makes her more desirable than me. I have weakened my resolve and slept with him a couple of times since we broke up, even though I know he'll never return to me. We continue to flirt at work and although it makes me happy at the time, I leave the office every day feeling more lonely and foolish than ever.

I wish I could just look at how badly he has treated me and realise that he is a jerk and not worth my time. But I am still in love with him and continue to mourn the good times. Is this normal? How do I get over him??!

[kiwi29f]

Find someone else. Seriously, The way you feel is normal. I was with a omplete a**hole for almost 2 years. He use to tell me that I had a fat a** I only weighed 120-125lbs, I was small. He cheated on me numerous times & the bad thing is when I found out I stayed with him. I was his safe havan, he knew I would always be there no matter what he did. I had an operation on my female parts & 2 days after I got home he cheated on my with this fat slutty girl. and I wasn't suppose to have sex for4-6 weeks & after only 2 weeks he tried to make me have sex with him even though he knew I could get an infection. He was a complete a** & I still stayed with him. I finally started getting out & met this other guy who I started dating & broke up with the other guy. I've been with the new guy for almost 5 years now & we've been married for 2 years & have a beautiful little girl together & he treats me like I'm a queen. His only faught is he like to drink every day But he doesnt get drunk, & I am so lucky to find someone like him. So just hold on, you'll find someone who will treat you great. just don't let him put you down so much. You dont need someone like that. Good Luck

[Girlie]

We've probably all wanted someone at one point even though we knew they were bad for us. Especially if we're single and have no one else to focus on. But it'd be better to focus on yourself, rather than him, and work on getting yourself to a place where you know you would never put up with that kind of treatment. He's a pig. You know you deserve better. Just try to keep moving forward and do your best not to fall into his clutches. It may not feel good to ward off his advances at first, but you'll be better off in the long run.