well I am in a LDR with my kids, my little boy 9 years old, my daughter 14 years old.

I do not know what to do, I feel very confussed about my situation. I sit and cry cuz I miss them so much and I want there hugs and kisses. I want ot give them mine.

I left my hometown to move west cuz I hate it there, a year later my 2 kids wanted to go back and live with there father. I allowed this cuz sometimes a daddy is better then a mommy, there friends, there old ways.

Anyways I am going out there for 2 weeks for a visit, I am not to sure I can come back here missing them so much.

My problem is, i know that I do not like living there, I know that I do not want to be there and the reason would be cuz my kids are there. I love them with all that I am i want to see them more then what I do,(last time Febuary). But I also want to be happy. I do not think that I can force myself to be happy after a period of time going by.

What can I do? I love them but I hate the city. oh ya i also do not drive due to panic attacks while driving. so moving to a different town is not real.

Thank you for any help

[HokeyReligions]

I may sound rude, but I would NEVER leave my kids no matter how much I hated the place in which I lived. Make the place better, or make yourself better in the place you live, don't run from it. You are a parent, its up to you to take care of your children and that means that you have to make sacrifices. NO sacrifice is too much for my children.

Well first I do not think that you are being rude at all. I was very vague in my problem on here. Without getting to much into it, People at different times of there lives sometimes have no choice. My kids were all here with me for a year then the youngest one and the oldest one wanted to move back with there father. I do have my 13 year old living with me. the reason I moved in the first place was cuz My 13 year olds father was doing and still is doing crack cocaine. This was and is interfeering with her life. I ended up forcinf the relationship between them to to stop. No choice. (the oldest and youngest one have the same father). I wish I remember the post that I did here 2 years ago. but anyways that was the reason I left.

I do everything I can for my kids. I am not a greedy parent that believes that i am the one that has to raise my kids and the father can not do it. I have stopped working in the summer times just so that I can be home with all my kids, this is t he first time that I am not woth them for a year. They have always lived with me. my kids do not resent me nor are they mad at me. We talk very openly about all of our feelings.

the move back home will be talked about to them. I do not want to get there hopes raised if I can not find a place when I get there fopr my visit.

I only said that I feel very torn. I have started a life out here and I am giving this life up to be in a place that I really do not like however my kids are there and thats what tears me up. I am really afraid to go back there mainly because of my 13 year olds father and the family out there.

thanks