What would you do if you started dating someone and he/she tells you that he/she has herpes?
On my side, I would probably go running if someone tells me. Why would I risk getting a life-long disease for someone I just met even if they seem to be a nice person?
I know most people would call me narrow minded, but realistically, does anybody want a STD? and even with medicines and treatment, it is still a risk to sleep with someone that has it.
I am not trying to hurt someone's feeling. I am simply trying to determine what is everyone's feeling on this.
1/5 people have it. Not completely sure where this stat comes from, if it's USA or worldwide. But I've heard it bunches and bunches. I'm sure someone out there can find this for you.
Also, there are lots of other posts on herpes and its risks, etc. Just do a search on "herpes" and I'm sure that you would find them.
Yes, I would date someone with herpes. Actually, I have HSV-1. Ever had a cold sore?
HSV-2 is the virus most often responsible for recurrent outbreaks of genital herpes and about half of primary outbreaks. It is almost always spread through genital-genital contact
HSV-1 is best known for causing cold sores or fever blisters around the mouth and nose. HSV-1 can also cause genital herpes – it can be passed to the genitals from a person with a cold sore during oral sex. HSV-1 can also be passed from genitals to genitals like HSV-2, but this is relatively uncommon.
Genital herpes is very common. About 1 in 5 people in North America has HSV-2. HSV-1 is even more common, with more than half the people in North America being infected.
Remember that many people have HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection with few, mild or no symptoms.
I have HPV. I'm in a relationship now,and I made the huge mistake of not
telling him until about a week after we had sex. It came up and I admitted it.
I had no idea how to tell him before. I am so ashamed of myself and regret not telling him sooner. We are still together,I found a great guy! I think if you really like the person you can get past the std, I mean if there is a chance you'll be together long term. HPV is so common,I think I read someplace that up to 70% of sexually active people have it,most do not know. There aren't tests for it on men,just abnormal paps for women if you don't have the strain that causes genital warts. Kind of shocking!
sorry for writing a book
I'd be VERY hesitant to go out with someone who has herpes, although, this is a question I've wondered for a while, if someone does have herpes, couldn't that potentially get them laid a lot MORE? My reasoning is this: they could find others who have herpes, and they wouldn't have to worry about spreading it because the other person already has it.
Of course, it could be during an off time, and could cause an outbreak, or could be a different strain and all that, so I sound like a total jackass right now. Stop looking at me!
Originally posted by Datingherpes
What would you do if you started dating someone and he/she tells you that he/she has herpes?
On my side, I would probably go running if someone tells me. Why would I risk getting a life-long disease for someone I just met even if they seem to be a nice person?
I know most people would call me narrow minded, but realistically, does anybody want a STD? and even with medicines and treatment, it is still a risk to sleep with someone that has it.
I am not trying to hurt someone's feeling. I am simply trying to determine what is everyone's feeling on this.
Thanks
I would date them, but I would probably not become sexually involved with them. Situations are unique, and my answers for taking things further would change from one possible scenario to the next.
Provided that the girl I used to see did not outright accuse me of infecting her with herpes (false accusation), I would still date her. It was her attitude that made me decide I wish not to associate with her any longer.
Well, here's a few ideas from the other side of the fence. I have genital HSV, not sure if it's type 1 or 2 because you can get both anywhere on the body. The idea of choosing to date someone with it or not is ridiculous, because you don't have a choice if they don't tell you, and many people are too ashamed to tell. That's how I got it. People think they can do a visual check to see if a partner has got it, but there is something called asymptomatic shedding. This is the virus present on the skin with absolutely no symptoms whatsoever, it can happen up to 5% of the time, and you can never tell when it is. Condoms do protect the area that is covered, but that leaves a pretty big area to get infected in.
Through very radical alternative treatments (oral hydrogen peroxide, total health), I've been able to get it into remission for 2 years and counting. It really cannot affect the quality of my life now, but it's been a rough road. I would just like to say that people should be a little more compassionate if a potential new partner reveals that they have herpes. Chances are, you've been sleeping with infected people anyway, because they say 90% of infected people don't know it, and 9 of the other 10% aren't going to tell you. So, if someone actually tells you and you can take the proper precautions, your chances are better.
Personally, anyone who rejects me because of it doesn't deserve me anyway. I know the reason is just pure ignorance. For instance, if my ex had of told me, I would have still been with her and I probably wouldn't have it now. You should educate yourself before making a decision, and that's hard with herpes because there's so much misinformation out there, and doctors will steer you in the WRONG direction more often than not.
If you want more info: check out Healthboards.com, you'll find many posts by me with my radical beliefs (like why I believe that herpes CAN be cured) and many other people sharing their experiences and knowledge. It really is a very minor thing.
To be perfectly honest no I wouldn't. Wouldn't even consider it. Cause IMO that places a sexual limitation on the relationship. Aside from a complete lack of a physical relationship, if there is no sex then there is no hope of kids. If there are no kids there is no family. If there is no family or future then why bother.
I'd like to point out that if I found out the love of my life HAD herpes, it wouldn't necessarily make me leave them-but I'd be using condoms, forever.
Originally posted by UCFKevin
I've wondered for a while, if someone does have herpes, couldn't that potentially get them laid a lot MORE? My reasoning is this: they could find others who have herpes, and they wouldn't have to worry about spreading it because the other person already has it.
I'm not sure I follow. "Hey, you have a disease, I have a disease, therefore we should do it?"
Herpes.... When I first got a sore I was in a big panic -- I didn't know what herpes was --i went to a clinic and they told be all sorts of horror - i told my boyfriend and he took me straight to bed and had unprotected sex with me.
I mean-- someone must have given it to me. I didn't invent it.
Lately I am single and a man came on to me. I put him off for a bit then I said ok, I'll come across, I like you and trust you and then I told him about the herpes.
Wow, did he change all of a sudden from touchy cuddly mr. nice guy into a cold unfriendly jerk. I was so hurt.
We compromised. He wouldn't have intercourse even with a condom. I did for him what I could but I don't think he liked it much and I don't think I'll hear from him again.
Right now I feel really down, really dejected and rejected. I really enjoyed his company. I really wish he could have been more humane. I could have lied and had a lovely time.
I rarely get outbreaks and they go away really quickly. It really isn't that terrible. The mental and emotional anguish is worse - the fear that men will shun you and hurt you feel when they turn off.
Originally posted by Mr Spock
I do. My best friend has herpes, they have online support forums-they all like to meet up and boink, as they've all got the same thing.
This is so bizarre to me. Is it just Herpes? Or does it work for diabetes as well?
Originally posted by Mr Spock
I do. My best friend has herpes, they have online support forums-they all like to meet up and boink, as they've all got the same thing.
Do you mean they are nice to each other? Where is this place? I am so unhappy. I have been living like a leper for 15 years. I want a man to touch me. I am dying for it. THere is no place on earth so fine as in a man's arms. But--- I don't want to hurt anyone.
I would happily be a platonic friend to some man who would put up with that, but regretably I met a real man and he
loved to touch me but changed his mind when he found out I had Herpes.
I wish I weren't so emotional and I try to be sensible but it hurts so very much when someone instinctively reacts that way to you. He practically pushed me off the couch. It was awful.
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