[sweetmind20]

hi,


i made a horrible mistake a couple months ago.. i have been in a relationship for the past two 1/2 years but haven't been exactly happy in it because there were a lot of problems that were never addressed so the tension was always there.
anyway, a couple months ago, i went against my better judgement and saw my first love in person. this was someone i had loved very deeply at one time and someone i've known for about 7 years. i made the horrid mistake of sleeping with him. i didn't plan for it to happen. the nostalgia of what i used to feel took over and my unhappiness in my current relationship fueled the situation. nevertheless, it should have never happened. i felt incredibly guilty afterward, and i still do. the problem is, Mr. first love was a virgin and now i have the knowledge that i took his virginity along with cheating on my bf.
now i can't get rid of mr. first love. he's clingly and won't stop calling me. now, a couple months later, my relationship is finally on track with my bf and i confessed to him everything and we're working things out. now that i'm finally happy, i still have mr. first lingering in the back, begging me to take him back. i sounds bad, but it's starting to take a toll on my relationship, and i would just as soon leave mr. first out of my life completely. but part of me feels it isn't right to not have anything to do with him esp. after i took his virginity. any opinions would be helpful.

[Fayebelle]

It's even worse to continue stringing him along. Cut the cord so he can find a lady who does have room for him in her life.

[Olivia_19742004]

after i took his virginity.

You make it sound like you're tied to him for the rest of your life. Hopefully, you made it a good first time (sounds like it if he keeps calling) so you aren't obligated for anything more than that. You didn't force him and I'm sure he was probably ready to experience this!

Just tell him you're in a relationship and he needs to stop calling you. You have no intention of leaving your boyfriend.

[faux]

I don't see any reason for you to torture the first love any more than he is already being tortured. I'm sorry, but I cannot stand it when people string others around in an attempt to protect their feelings. Doing so only causes them more pain, and simply communicating your feelings to the person would save both of you so much trouble.

Explain to him that nothing is going to happen, that you are in a relationship, and that he must stop calling you. Tell him you do not want to talk to him anymore, have anything to do with him, get emails, phone calls, text messages, IMs, notes, letters, or anything from him, and that you do not want to be and will not try to be his "friend".

These things are all very harsh, but if you continue stringing him along, you may find yourself getting the police involved. The sad thing is, that even if it did escalate to that level, the first love would probably have no idea you were EVER being bothered by him, which is a big no-no and quite a good defense for him in court, provided he has a good lawyer.

So... Tell him how you feel, what you expect and what you will not tolerate. Save everyone the trouble.