I went out with this guy for about a year, thought he was The One, everything was perfect etc etc. I found out about 2 months ago that he was cheating. I ended it (with great difficulty), but we remained friends - with the occasional pash. I know! But we work together, it is hard to resist temptation.

Anyway, he left for 6 months overseas last week. I was searching through a work file of his this morning (the matter went to me when he left) and found a receipt from Tiffany's for a $500 necklace, dated last week. I guess it went to his new girlfriend. I just feel like the biggest joke, the biggest stupid idiot in the world. I feel sick to my stomach.

Although it's not news that he was seeing someone else, he downplayed the relationship to me. He also never spent a cent on me. I never got jewlerry or gifts. We were both saving so I didn't expect anything. I was happy enough to have his love. But seeing that he did this for another woman breaks my heart all over again - why does she deserve this gift from him? Maybe it's not even about the gift, but it just renewed the pain of rejection.

I am still so sad and depressed about the break up... I know I should be angry with him for cheating and lying, but I can't hold a grudge. How do I get out of this black pit of despair and begin some constructive feelings? How do I realise that I deserved better? I still feel so desperate for his love, even though I probably never had it.

[supermom]

You know what worked for me? I listened to Limp Bizkit "my way or the highway" and it gave me a strong sence of okayness about my breakup/divorce.

I was thinking...No, I don't like being cheated on...no I don't like being treated like crap, no, don't like being hit, so f*ck him, It's MY way or the highway....so it's the highway for you buddy......

I actually was saying this outloud listening to the song. Yes, I know it sounds corny as hell but It ACTUALLY helped me....kinda like GIRL POWER! or something.

Good luck..you too will be okay again...remember this will be a thing of my past someday...

I like listening to angry rock songs to get me fired up to. One of the only places I feel good anymore if when I'm at a kickboxing class at the gym, thinking about kicking his face in. I wish I could hold onto that feeling of empowerment, but it dissapears as soon as I get back into my normal mindset.

I've tried lots of tricks... thinking about him when he looked ugly or stupid; visualising a future of my own... I just keep getting sucked back into the same old thoughts - he's the only man I've ever loved and trusted, he never loved me, he will forget me, she is so much better than me, they will live happily ever after...

I hate this negative person. I try to be as fun and outgoing as I was before but I'm just so defeated!

i went through that same feeling 4 month ago my ex just one day decided it was over i couldn't bare to seem him go until 2 month ago i found out why her name was rosina a trick he met at a club while he was visiting his family that last weekend

i left my house on really bad terms to be with him because noone approved i thought we would travel rent at the beach have fun but there was never money he never wanted to go out or go to the beach wich is 30 min away

i come to find out he rents hotels he takes her jet skiing he rents at the beach yet me the stupid bi%@# that would cook and clean wash his cloth organize the house that i never asked him for anything at all he never did anything for me

thats what made me turn the grief into hatred

he basically took away from u the fun in the relationship he never cared about u and that is my conclusion

a beter way to see it aint this chick better than dont let him believe this

walk away turn that love down into the pit of your stomach and learn u cant love someone that never loved u << never confuse friendship for love>>> he isn't better than u and that is what he feels walk away and dont look back