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Overload of attention, then withdrawal? could this variation of n/c work?

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Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 12th July 2004, 11:13 AM   #1
prodigy_khaine
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Lightbulb Overload of attention, then withdrawal? could this variation of n/c work?

I've got a crazy idea

Recently, as some people probably know, I became single, on her account. I've gone through many stages: depression, over it, grief, anger, blah-di-blah-di-blah. This is all in 2 weeks

I've been reading the posts on no-contact, and I've found them helpful, but I went thru only one week before I had to see her at work...

I am going bush for the next 3 weeks, and I wont have any chance of seeing her, and nor she of I, but i have one week of uni holidays to kill off before I go...

She suggested we get lunch before I go. She cited she really wants to be friends, and is honestly making the effort. she's already said I can go over and spend time with her, like friends do. She still has feelings for me, but not the type I want, obviously.

She cited that my negativity and bad moods ended her love for me, but she still wants to remain friends.

Obviously, I've said I will change, and I want to, regardless of whether she's around or not, who wants to be a grump all of their life, but I can fake it for now, until I've really sorted out how to be bubbly and chirpy all of the time.

Anyway, as I said, one week till I disappear for 3 weeks. Would it be possible to make her miss me even more over the 3 weeks if I spend a lot of time with her during the one week (like, spend 3 or 4 days with her), like she said I possibly could, then *bang* none of me. I'm thinking of the "quitting smoking cold turkey" analogy here... I could be all bubbly and happy, like what she wanted of me, what I want of myself...

Could it work? Need some feedback on my idea...
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Old 12th July 2004, 4:43 PM   #2
Fayebelle
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NOPE- no contact is no contact. Why would you wanna fake being "happy chirpy" if that's not who you are? If you have "hostility issues"- than by all means seek therapy. But some people just aren't the chipper type. Maybe you should spend 3 weeks looking for a) someone who looks the quiet broody type (they are out there) or b) finding what DOES make you ridiculously elated (if that's how you want to be)
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Old 12th July 2004, 9:44 PM   #3
prodigy_khaine
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Fayebelle

Its not so much that I'm not usually happy and chirpy, but some things changed recently and pressure really got to me, I don't handle it that well (Last year of uni etc)... I changed then, became moody and grumpy... I want to change back to the original me, whom she fell in love with... There was never any hostility, just a bit of gloominess from my part. (The glass was half empty, so to speak)

I just have to fake it at the moment, because it's damn difficult to be happy when someone so important just left your life, thats all.

The 3 weeks will be used to discover myself, and hopefully give her the time to discover or hopefully realise the impact I made on her life.

Thanks for your reply.
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