[clyde]

My husband of 8 years told me yesterday that he would like a trial separation. We have been in conflict for some time. My husband does not communicate well. He is also a binge drinker. He still goes to work, he drinks at home, he is not violent or abusive, he just drinks to excess on frequent occassion. I feel like he thinks I am boring, stupid, and that he takes advantage of me.

We dated for exactly one week before he asked me to marry him and we had a baby 9 months later. He feels that if we have some time apart that we could date and learn to get to know each other better. We have gone to marriage counceling. We went once for 3 visits and my husband was being an ass at the time and the councelor told him so for 3 visits plus the councelor spent the rest of the time focusing on my husbands drinking. We went another time to my councelor but my husband felt she had preconcieved notions about him. I am sure she did. We went another time, 6 sessions, to a councelor who answered her private line seveal times during our sessions, never set concrete goals except that my husband was to find a hobby and do that one day a week. Needless to say husband now refuses to go to a councelor and I do not know of one that would give him what he wants, which is concrete tasks that we can work on and to set a time limit.

I have told him very specifically what I need form him. He agrees that what I want is not undoable or unreasonable. But he has not done it. I am reluctantly agreeing to this on many conditions that protect me. We have agreed to child support, he has to give back the keys and the credit cards. He says he want to come back soe day but I am afraid that when he gets out there he will figure out how easy life can bee without a family and naggin wife tying you down. I guess I have 2 questions for the community. I think we should have some kind of tasks or guidelines we should be following to work towards reconsiliation. Does anyoen have any idea of where i could find info on something like that or suggestions. The second is has anyone heard of or tried the Retrouvaille program and if so what do you think. I think I make attending the program one of my conditions.

[Matilda]

You might take a look at <removed> for task ideas.