[cowgirl]

Hello everyone,

I have myself in an awkward position. A few months ago in a chatroom I met a guy with whom I have been communicating with via email, text messg, and as of today spoke to him for the first time on the phone. He was going to do a trip to my city to meet me however I have holidays before him so I am going there to meet him and besides that I need a break from work etc... I will be staying in my own accomodation whilst Im there. We have never spoke of us becoming anymore than friends since meeting over the net.

The reason for my awkward position is that about a month ago I ran into an old flame while I was out shopping and since than have hung out a few times. We are slowly becoming close again and I feel there's potential there for a relationship to start eventually. He knows Im going away on my holidays but he doesn't know Im going to meet someone also that Ive met over the net. The guy I met on the net doesn't know about this guy Ive been hanging out with.

Im a big believer in honesty in all relationships and I don't want to be dishonest with either of them but I feel like I am. Im not sure whether to tell either of them of the other or just leave it be as is seeing that Im not in a relationship with either of them. Im also starting to care a bit about the guy that Ive been spending time with. If anyone has any opinions or advice as what to do next Id be greatful of it.

Cheers!!

[dudesomewhere]

ommission is a form of lying and I guess you can apply to this instance as cheating...but only sort of I guess. It is in essence you are being dishonesty with yourself, and somewhere inside you is questioning it.

Let the friend remain the friend and let the exflame you seem to not mind a rekindling be that. Life is like a stairway...you can choose to take steps forwards or backwards...and that choice is up to you, and yes they are that simple. Each step forwards strengthens your integrity and fortitude...each step back takes away accordingly.

[Olivia_19742004]

Im not sure whether to tell either of them of the other or just leave it be as is seeing that Im not in a relationship with either of them.

Exactly. The concept that omission is basically lying and thus cheating in this context is completely invalid. You are not in a relationship. You answer to no one. You are not responsible to tell either of these men who else is in your life. For all you know they have someone else in their life, too.

Our society is becoming more and more obsessed with taking "ownership" of someone just because they are have some form of relationship with them. If you're sleeping with either one of these men I would suggest discussing the current situation and come to an understanding that you're not in a committed relationship and will be seeing other people. The only reason I say that is some people feel uncomfortable knowing they're having sex with someone (even with condoms) that is currently sexually active with someone else. At this point, it simply because a safety issue and not a code of conduct in a relationship issue.

Go have fun on your holiday. Enjoy your talks with your old flame. Enjoy any other man that wants to take you on a date and don't feel like you have to explain yourself to them. Until you're in a committed relationship you don't answer to anyone and neither do they.

[Samson]

Im also starting to care a bit about the guy that Ive been spending time with.

But you're going to spend your holiday time off and accomodate yourself to meet the internet date dude?

Women!

[dudesomewhere]

it is not just to other people, but to one's self. That's why I said "It is in essence you are being dishonesty with yourself, and somewhere inside you is questioning it." Come on now, shouldn't we be responsible and honest with ourselves? We should take "ownership" of ourselves.

Either that or I'm one freaky open and honest bastard . I don't hide nothing...except what's in my pants cuz you can barely see it anyway! boohoo, oowoohoo