[Silksatin]

I'll admit I've never been married which makes me pretty naive.

But some people make marriage sound like a business investment.

Couldn't it be possible that sometimes two people meet for a reason. They may get divorced later, but through the experience they gained something they both needed, and the only way to gain that was through this marriage?
I read of a couple or relationships like that.

It seems we like to label everything black and white.
Is a failed marriage really that bad?

Thanks for any input!

[myownme]

I have been married once before and plan on remarrying very soon. I always joke about the first time being the practice round. LOL I was very young, very naive and just wanted the experience, I learned so much from it and we have remained friends (because of the kids) and neither of us are bitter.

[Matilda]

You know, I sometimes think that if I hadn't married such a jerk the first time around, I wouldn't appreciate my husband now the way I do. So sometimes, I do think that was a necessary step for me.

[SweetBee82]

Originally posted by Silksatin
Couldn't it be possible that sometimes two people meet for a reason. They may get divorced later, but through the experience they gained something they both needed, and the only way to gain that was through this marriage?
I read of a couple or relationships like that.

It seems we like to label everything black and white.
Is a failed marriage really that bad?

Thanks for any input!

When I got married when I was 18, I was very naive. My ex kept on pressuring me to get married at City Hall when he knew deep down that something I didn't want. I felt that the time that if I don't marry him, he would leave me. So I did it.

But I will admit it was a good learning experience. I did learn a lot about myself through this. By the time I told him it was over, I was completely a different woman. I wasn't the naive 18 year old that just listen what her BF tells her. I was a 21 year old young woman who's finally coming to her own and knows what she wants. I knew that if I stay with him, I'm gonna let him baby me for the rest of my life and I didn't want that. I do thank him for making me a stronger person.

However, I don't know about him. He's in a new relationship and already planning to move in together. He's repeating the same mistakes he did when he was with me. It's funny that I'm now 22 and grew a lot from my 3-year marriage while he's now 30 and still hasn't grown from it.

So to answer your question, it can be good if learned from it.

[thecake]

I've been divorced for over seven years - I learned a LOT from being married. If I get married again I'll take it a lot more seriously.

However, people who "have" to be married disturb me...the ones who have been married 3, 4 times....it seems like they don't take the institution of marriage seriously.

[YellowLioness]

Well, it's not bad if you don't have kids. If you do have kids, your "learning experience" will end up being a "learning experience" for them as well. My parents were divorced from the time I was 4. They hated eachother, and my brother and I got caught in the middle. I'm still pretty bitter at both of them, though distance has helped me put perspective on it.

So, the answer depends on the dependents. *shrugs*