[outofgas311]

I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now. I'm 17, and she's 16. I graduated high school already this year, because I started school really early, but she will be a junior next year. I plan to attend a university in my hometown, Pensacola, for one or two years and get my general studies out the way then transfer to a bigger university on the scholarship that I have. I know it may sound corny and the same old thing people here all the time, but I honest to God love this girl. Me and her just clicked ever since we first saw each other and we are still just as interested in each other as the first month we started going out. But the catch is, her parents literally have mental problems, and they take their frustration and anger out on their kids. My girlfriend's name is Andrea, and her older sister's name is Anna. Anna recently turned 18, and left her house because of how big of a control freak her mother was. Her parents would not allow them to hang out with people, or live normal lives. Every now and then they will allow them to go out at random to appear normal to the rest of the world, but it is very rare. My girlfriend's parents call her messed up and worthless, when she does nothing wrong and just tries to please them. She literally works all day, cooking and cleaning and running errands, even doing her dad's actual work. If she asks to go out and do something her mother acts like she has a problem and isn't grateful for what she has, almost like Andrea is an inconvenience to her life instead of another person. Her dad is a teacher with a pretty nice degree, but it's just a cover to how messed up he his.

I had a "friend" named Alan, but he started liking Andrea's older sister when I brought him over to the house one day. Alan and Anna would make up lies about me to Andrea's parents to get them to dislike me, such as making up that the money I spent on meals was Alan's and I was pretending it was mine. Basically Anna is extremely jealous of her younger sister, when she moved out Andrea told me her mom looked through her journals and read about how jealous Anna really was. Anna liked me, but I thought she was way too big of a bitch and liked her sister instead. Their parents would not allow them to meet anyone outside of school, and with Anna's past boyfriends the mother would threaten to get people to beat them up. The woman is a control freak nutcase. She honestly is so messed up she can't even see it. She has admitted to trying every illegal drug known to man, such as heroin, LSD, acid, all the **** that messes up your brain.

One day me, Alan, Anna, and my girlfriend were all in the backyard while her parents were gone somewhere. They came home and caught us all there, and told me and Alan to leave in our cars. Once we got there the parents called my cell phone and asked us to come back to talk to them. When we got there I got a speech about how bad I was, and my friend Cory showed up to the house as well. She started randomly saying things to Cory like "you're worthless, etc." When I couldn't handle her bull**** anymore I asked her how I was so bad when she had done all those drugs and how she had drank wine in my car and told me to not tell my parents about it. Then the father went off on me and told me to leave the yard. I am sure he just doesn't want people to know his wife is crazy, and he freaks out. I saw him throw my girlfriend at the door like she was nothing, and she slammed into it and was shocked out of her mind.

It turns out as I was walking down the road, Anna, Alan, and Cory both saw her father hit her with a closed fist in her eye. Regardless of us being there without their permission, that was still no grounds for a man to hit his daughter, especially a 16 year old. Later that day, the mom also hit my girlfriend repeatedly, giving her bruises all over her body. Andrea and Anna left the house that evening, and didn't go back. They stayed at Alan's house. They went to school, and the school took pictures of what turned into a black eye on my girlfriend and her bruises from the mother. It was both physical and mental abuse. HRS and police got involved. Anna was 18 and completely left the house and lives with her grandmother, but because my girlfriend is still a minor she couldn't do that.

Her father knows all the cops in town, because he is a teacher and gave them all their dumb **** courses to be cops, so they didn't do anything about it. The parents lied to HRS. Her parents are extremely bipolar because they let me take her to prom to appear normal not but a couple weeks after this incident, and even invited me to have dinner with them only a week after. Screaming at me calling me a bad kid one day, then paying for my dinner and letting me take their daughter to prom the next? Something is terribly wrong with these people, and everyone now knows it.

Andrea wishes she could just tell her parents we're dating, but she can't take the risk. Her mom is so crazy that she would cut off all contact, and honestly I'm the only person she has right now. A week or two ago, Andrea had Loratabs in her purse for her friend Ashley's wisdom teeth problem. We were in a parking lot looking for something in the car, and an undercover cop car came by. He searched her purse, which I later found out wasn't legal for him to do because he had no probably cause, and found the Loratabs. The cop was a huge *******, thinking he knew everything, and called my girlfriend's mother about the pills. They were the mom's pills, but Andrea didn't think anything of taking a couple to give to Ashley for her teeth. The parents showed up and tried to make me look like a bad kid, but I told the cops all about what the father and mother did to Andrea, and they were on my side.

The mother came to my house that night at 12:30, and rang the doorbell frantically trying to wake up my parents when I told her not to. My mom yelled at her and told her to leave, which I had tried asking nicely for her to do. She then went up and down the street trying to figure out ways to harass us. It turns out she called a fake domestic disturbance and an officer came to our house and woke us up again at 1:30 in the morning. I told him the deal and he understood. The next afternoon I wake up and my mom said that my girlfriend's mother had called up her work and complained about her, when she doesn't even know my mom. Now there is a bunch of legal **** going on there, with harrassment. My mom understands that my girlfriend's mother thinks that because she showed up that night late trying to piss her off that my mom will get on to me and tell me not to see Andrea, but that's not the case.

My parents are very understanding and said I can sneak around with Andrea if she is not being followed by her parents and there is no way of getting caught, but I can't deal with her parents or talk to them because they are nuts and are harassing my family. They understand the abuse that has been going on (which is still going on, but every time my girlfriend reports it her parents lie and act like she is the messed up one to authorities).

Andrea is completely confused. Who wants to accept that their own mother and father are abusive nutcases? She knows it, but it tears her up. She also loves me and wishes she could see me more, but can't tell her parents because they are nuts and do not care about anyone but themselves. I have been the only person that has stuck with her for over a year, even when her own sister deserted her. I plan to keep hanging on and doing what I can for her without messing up my own life. I was just wondering what other people's take on this is, and what they would do. My mother and I have talked to cops and are hoping we can get one of the parents arrested if they harass us again and we get proof. We are also trying to get die hard proof of the abuse, even though there already is with the pictures that her school took. I just love her and care about her so much and I can't stand to see her having to go through this.

Nobody should have to go through that, but especially not her. She's a great girl, and has helped me so much. I quit smoking pot for her, took up better habits like working out and spending more time with my family which she convinced me to do. I just wish she could get help. Not that it would happen, but I love her so much I would even take the pain and torture of having some guy her parents accept come into her life that she can go out with, but her parents don't like anybody. It just seems like a hopeless situation with no answer except for when she turns 18 to leave. Any advice? I love her.

[Romantic Shadow]

im really sorry to hear about that it happened with me once also... if you really love her then you have to do something if she is ok with waiting it out til she is eighteen then go for but i dought that. Sometimes you got to take matters into your own hands... i did... i screamed until they realized what they were doing. Would they hurt andrea if they found out you were going out? if not then you should tell them... if you love her that much then tell them... tell them that you love her and nothing is going to change that make them realize what a great girl they have and how they treat a perfect thing like crap. do something about it you cant wait it out and watch her get hurt... private message me if you want more advice because ive been through it all before...

[Romantic Shadow]

well i have to go now but ill be on tomorrow and ill give you more advice because i was in that situation and i feel like noone should have to go through that and i dont mean just her i mean you too... you have more pain than her... you have to sit there and watch her get hurt which is more pain itself than getting hit in the first place.

[Triguluous]

I am really sorry too, I went through a simular event. Not as bad as yours, so, you my friend are a very strong person.
My situation was when I was around 16 and this girl I had been dating was around 15. She lived with her step father and her mother. One night she called me to come and pick her up to go get something to eat. She had a friend with her and so did I. We went to get the food and when we arrived back at ther house. This big SUV pulled up right behind me and blocked me in the drive way. Her parents came out of the house and her REal father stepped out of the SUV with his wife and came up to the window. He started yelling at me, cursing me out. He was accusing me of kidnapping his daughter, etc. She was crying cuz all of her parents went crazy on her. Yanked her out of the car and through her on the ground. I yelled at them and her father said to stay in the car or he would kick my ass. "I am a black belt he shouted" I replyed, "I wipe my ass with black belts!" He grabbed my neck through the window. I opend my door really quick and knocked him down. I grabbed him and pulled him up and kicked the crap out of him. The Step father grabbed me from behind and I pushed him on the ground. The father told me he knows all the cops and I told him I knew them too, I lifted weights with a lot of them and I have witnesses that will say you grabbed me. I kicked him in the stomach and told him if he hits her again I would brake every one of his fingers very slowly.

Now I may not have handled the situation the best way, but I have a phobia of people touching me that I don't like. And I feel Like I am cornered. I didn't care if he was a black belt or what, he was full of ****. I was a third year into kickboxing, but I just used moves I saw on the WWE.

I don't suggest you hitting them. But your parents can take legal actions or get the state to pay more attention to them. Bruses are great evidence, especially many of them. You have more will power than me, I would be forced to enforce my views on to them with my size and strength. Not that I am a bone head, just that some people cannot be reasoned with.

[faux]

It isn't up to you to get this girl any type of help. Her problems are not your responsibility, and any help she could get is available to her if she wanted to seek it out. Good luck with the legal problems. I recommend filing if you have not already. Additionally, perhaps this is not the best relationship for you to remain in, seeing as the family is not going to go away, and the situation is becoming extremely volatile.

[plagued]

Look how young you are, enjoy life a little more than this.

Shouldn't you be sowing seeds, finishing school, setting your life up?

This is too serious for someone your age. Don't grow up too soon, trust me you will look back and wish you concentrated on yourself more.

I am set at 29, if I hadn't had focused on goals then I do not know where I would be.

Be healthy and keep healthy around you. My mother was a heroine addict who was bi-polar. I learned from her mistakes. After she took her own life, I found solace in the norm.

If you love her, don't save her. She needs to save herself. If you save her, you will continue to save her for the rest of your relationship.

[Amy22]

I think it is awesome that you are sticking by her. I am sure she really needs you right now. She probably feels alone and scared. If she is willing you two should try to go talk to children services. Not with her parents or around her parents. I was abused and at a certian age she should be able to say what she wants. All she would have to is say she doesn't want to live with her parents that she would want to be put in foster care or maybe a family member can take her. But that is a big step and something she should really think about. Foster care is not easy. Everytime her parents leave a bruise you should try to take her to children services. If you bug them enough they will do something. I would just make sure she really knows what could happen when they do. You two wouldn't be able to see a lot of each other if she was in foster care. She might have to change schools. Just things like that. Keep us updated.

[HokeyReligions]

Talk to your school counselor. I know you said you already graduated, but go back and bring the post you wrote and talk to the counselor and/or principle. They know how to keep things confidential and they will know what to do and who should be contacted and how to proceed.