[Brian83]

Finding the best course of action ...

So I posted my story about a week ago. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she said she wanted her "space" but narrowed it down to a not so subtle "I don't want to be with you" usually with a "for now" or "at the moment" attached to that. She and I haven't talked for a couple of days ... I've been trying to keep my mind off of the whole thing, but it's hard not to think about all of it.

The last night she and I talked in person, she seemed open to the idea of us still talking ... like ... as friends. I told her that I wasn't sure that I'd be able to handle that, but now I'm having second thoughts. I want a second chance with this girl. I've had a few suggestions thrown my way, and it's hard to come up with comfortable suggestions for such a situation.

One suggestion is that I just ... try and move on ... and I guess just keep my fingers crossed and hope that she changes her mind and comes back. Well, if you didn't happen to read my earlier post in "Breaking Up" then I should mention that there might be another guy involved in the picture. Now, I remember when I decided on breaking up in a previous relationship, that spending time with other girls kind of changed my train of thought. So I'm not sure how the waiting suggestion would work out if there's someone else in the picture.

Another suggestion was to continue talking to her, as friends, and make contact with her every week or so ... but at the same time ... go out with other girls. A girl suggested this to me as a sure fire way to stir up her feelings. That one kind of made sense ... you see it in sitcoms a lot ... the guy and girl taking a break and then they see each other dating other people and are like "hey, that's my boyfriend" or what not. I don't know how it works in a girl's head, but I know how it makes me feel.

An alternate option might be to just ... talk to her ... and not mention anything about who we're dating. Maybe hang out with her from time to time as ... friends. I don't want to end up being just the friend, though. I suppose I could just be myself during our encounters and try and win her back with my presence.

She also asked me if I would be there for her if she ever decided to come back ... and I didn't really know how to reply. I told her that it might be too painful to stand by and watch, similar to the contact thing. I didn't want to give her the impression that I'd just sit there like a dog and wait for her ... but I also didn't want to give her the impression that I would not be there waiting, what a tough question.

- So, any suggestions as to what path I should take?
- Any inspiring experiences or what not?
- Also, how to answer that last question I mentioned ... any comments or suggestions?

Thank You - Brian

[lost_in_chgo]

don't bring up the waiting thing to her at all.
If she asks again tell her that you will leave the door open for her, but that if you are involved with someone else you wont drop everything for a maybe.