my boyfriend does not have a problem with porn, I look at it all the time. he thinks that it is funny and he will sit here and make comments about me doing this.
Things like are you ready now honey? or something you like there your still on the same page.

I think that it has alot to do with the comfort level in the relationship.

We love each other and no i am not out looking for anything else but some friends and things that i have in common. We both believe that we should not change just because we are together and to tell you the truth it has gotten us alot more close to one another, I love him and no one else but I aqm comfortable with my sexuality also it has enhanced our sex life with one another.

I do not hide what I do on the net, I have my computer right in my kitchen (laptop) and i do not have it all under lock and key.

I need to know why people have a problem with the partener looking at a nude body on the net and that is only a picture , it is not real, like really they change it air brush them so much that it is just funny sometimes.

For the ones that do have the problem with looking at it and it bothering your spouse why do you continue? Why make them feel less of a person if that is what it does?

Thanks

I see this topic here so much and people feeling hurt and unattractive that i have to ask

[average guy]

I think porn bothers women more because it seems to me that women are held up too unrealistically high standards about their looks in every facet of life (just look at all the advertising telling women they would look better if the did this or that) so I think women get a little defensive that they are being compared to models or porn starts with perfect young bodies. Whereas men don't really feel a competition about looks (men feel more insecure about how much money they earn, what kind of car they drive, whete their favorite sports team won this year, etc.) so men are not as threatened by the looks of another man.

Does any of that make sense or help answer your question?

Cheers,

A.G.

[dyermaker]

I'm sure it was Moi who brought up the looks thing.

Women who are offended by porn are basing their self-worth, qualifying it with being loved and respected, on how they look!

It's delusional to think that you'll always be physically alluring, so why does it surprise you to find that your man is finding others alluring as well? Aren't there other things in your relationship that foster a connection besides... erm... spankworthiness?

I am only surprized at peoples reactions about themselves. Relationship are based on so much more then just sexual and physical contact.

I was a question only because I see it so often here about people insucurity's about this topic. I noticed that people often expected there mates to change once they got together(the because I am here feeling). But reality is that people change somewhat but the things they enjoy will remain that way. and why shouldn't they?

I wanted people to think about why this upset them so much, we as people put to much negitive energy into things that we can not answer and things we can not change. humains see something attractive let it be a vase or a good looking person we look and it is almost auto that we do this. I think that it is sad that people trry so hard to change another to the point that everyone has to hide what they are doing.

I was in a few relationships where my partener looked at porn and it upset me, then I thought why not let him? why get mad about this he is with me and just looking at that. It got to the point that I would look at it and he would freek out because I would not fly off the wall(the times he got caught). Thats when I relized that there is nothing wrong with it and to tell you the truth thats when he was not into it so much. I found that it was like that in many areas. The more I would not really care (start fighting and aruging) the closer we felt because I could ask him in a calm way why he did this or that.

I wanted to start the topic. People look inside yourself and you will see that there really is not anything wrong with it. Try to except your partener for who and what they are, unless hurting other people physically. Try not to feel so hurt that your partener finds someone else attractive. and remember that there is alot of air brushing going on there!!!! lol...

thanks amy4141

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by dyermaker
I'm sure it was Moi who brought up the looks thing.

Women who are offended by porn are basing their self-worth, qualifying it with being loved and respected, on how they look!

It's delusional to think that you'll always be physically alluring, so why does it surprise you to find that your man is finding others alluring as well? Aren't there other things in your relationship that foster a connection besides... erm... spankworthiness?

Be careful for which women you speak. I have no problems with my self-worth and I do not compare porn to myself or my life at all. I think 99% of it is trashy and demeaning and disgusting and beneath contempt. Some of it can be fun and stimulating in a committed relationship. My Avatar is meant to be sensuous and some may consider it pornographic. A close up crotch shot and lurid graphic details is disgusting. It is not the the looks of the people on the screen - it is what it represents. Animalistic sex outside of a committed relationship.

Can any of you picture your mothers or grandmothers or daughters posing and having sex for money? How about the pastor of your church or his wife or children?

What separates man from animals is our ability to harness and direct our natural instincts and to create, invent and progress. Porn appeals to base instinct and lowers the abilities of humans to that of animals. If it becomes a standard in mainstream America, then mainstream America will be reduced to its lowest common denominator instead of being held up to its highest peak and inspired to build even higher.

Porn has a place, I'd rather keep it in its place and not promote it to those who can't handle it.

[Debster]

Porn is fine as long as both partners are ok with it.

I think the issue arises when one partner isn't - or when it starts affecting their intimacy level and relationship.

It goes back to the old respecting your partner thing.

[Pyrannaste]

I was in a few relationships where my partener looked at porn and it upset me, then I thought why not let him? why get mad about this he is with me and just looking at that.

To me happened the opposite.
When i got into my first serious relationship I had no problems with porn at all. i though it was fine, even if I was not personally interested in it.
When I started having jealousy issues about *real* women my partner happened to see without their clothes while we were in a relationship, porn began to bother me.
As my jealousy problems increased, porn bothered me even more.
Still now when we are in a bad period where we are arguing quite a lot, when I feel not loved enough, when I don't get enough compliments and attention (of course enough to me ) the idea of him looking at porn makes me fuming.
In happy relationship moments, it is no huge deal.
But it still bothers me, it is not anymore like in the first year of the relationship, when I was genuinely okay with it.

So I went from "Oh, porn is okay and I'm not threatened by it" phase to "men should not watch porn every f*cking day when they are in a relationship, it's disrespectful, it's not like they have a friggin right to watch it even if it bothers their partners" phase. Funny.

Perhaps one day I'll be back to being okay with porn, but it is very unlikely.
I reckon that my (now slight) avversion to porn will instead get worse.

Originally Posted by amy4141

my boyfriend does not have a problem with porn, I look at it all the time. he thinks that it is funny and he will sit here and make comments about me doing this.
Things like are you ready now honey? or something you like there your still on the same page.

I think that it has alot to do with the comfort level in the relationship.

We love each other and no i am not out looking for anything else but some friends and things that i have in common. We both believe that we should not change just because we are together and to tell you the truth it has gotten us alot more close to one another, I love him and no one else but I aqm comfortable with my sexuality also it has enhanced our sex life with one another.

I do not hide what I do on the net, I have my computer right in my kitchen (laptop) and i do not have it all under lock and key.

I need to know why people have a problem with the partener looking at a nude body on the net and that is only a picture , it is not real, like really they change it air brush them so much that it is just funny sometimes.

For the ones that do have the problem with looking at it and it bothering your spouse why do you continue? Why make them feel less of a person if that is what it does?

Thanks

I see this topic here so much and people feeling hurt and unattractive that i have to ask

I have a problem because when he looks at porn he pleasures himself and doesn't want anything to do with me. I am not FAT or UGLY. It makes me feel I am when I try to have sex or make love to him but he isn't interested after looking at the porn videos. I would be fine with it if he would want me or replay what he saw.