hey people this is my first time here.....here my problem there is this girl at school that im interested in gettin to know, but i dont have it in me to approach her. I think she might be interested in me because i always catch her looking at me but who knows maybe she thinks she knows me....
she is usually with a friend or sumthing so it makes it really hard to talk to her and when she is alone i just cant get myself to do it....most girls iv met and gone out with is because i knew them threw someone else or got to know them in class, but even then most of them asked me out, i guess it makes it hard because i havent gone out with a gurl in like 5-6 years now....and even if i did approach her i cant think of anything to say to her, i'd just be stuttering the whole time....
So what should i do & how should i go about this?
p.s. im not bad looking im just shy and not too confidient, and im 20 not sure how old she is (mostly likely a year or 2 younger)
Ok. I know just how you feel except I experienced it in a different way. I am 16 so I hope you do consider my advice. I am goin to be a Junior and last summer, I admitted to a girl that I liked her. She had no clue and it surprised her. Now we never have dated and I have been chasing her and waiting for her, being there everytime she got hurt by her boyfriend. But nothing ever worked.
Now I am an extremely shy guy when it comes to talkin to girls. And I mean EXTREMELY! What you need to do is try to find out her phone number. If that doesn't work, your going to have to approach her when she is alone. I do know how you feel about approaching a girl when she has friends. I wouldn't be able to do it either. BUT, if you like the girl enough, you need to approach her. Perhaps you could kind of follow her sometimes, until she gets alone, and then approach her, believe me it is much easier to talk to her when she is alone.
But either way, if you think the girl is worth it, you gotta go for it bud. Now about this girl I've been chasing. I still like her, but I'm dating another girl right now through the help of my best friend. But your wondering how to approach her and what to say though aren't ya?
First off, I can't really help you on how to approach a girl, except dont trip or anything. And another thing I forgot to include up there, try to pay attention to who she talks to. That way, you can talk to one of her friends whether it be guy/girl. Then find out some background information about her. But if that doesn't work, then just approach her. Walk up to her and say something like "Hi, My name is ______." Then she should introduce herself. Then start asking questions about her, nothin personal cuz u dont want to scare her away.
All this time I'm sayin this, your prolly thinkin "But I'm too afraid to approach this girl." Well I'm gonna be straight with you and tell it to you how it should be, TOO BAD! You gotta get the courage to approach and talk to this girl. You can't go through life being afraid to talk to girls and have the girls do everything. What are you goin to do if you get a girlfriend and you get well into your relationship and you want to marry her? You going to wait for her to propose to her or you going to have your friends propose to her for you? Just think about it and most importantly, BE YOURSELF when you are with this girl. People tell me that all the time and it doesn't seem like it is good advice but it is. If you talk to this girl, she will like you for you. If she doesn't like you for yourself, then she isn't the right girl. Hate to say that but its true. I guess a good example of this situation would be the movie "Saving Silverman" If you have not seen it, I recommend you go see it, it could help you out and could teach you on how to be yourself.
But just approach her, say hi and give her your name, talk about what classes she takes unless this is happening out of school but it's sounding like this is taking place in college. Ask her if she would want to walk around or if you could walk her to her next class or back to her car or dorm room or wherever your going. And talk on your way over about classes you take and what you like to do for fun. But don't just talk about YOU! You wanna be interested in what she says and be all ears to what she has to say. It'll pay off later. Believe me. But after you walk her to her destination, ask if she would want to hang out sometime or talk later. And if you are courageous enough, ask nicely "Do you think I could have your number so I can call you sometime?" Tell her you had a nice time talkin with her and that you can't wait till you two meet again. That's all I have to say for now. If this doesn't work or you aren't too sure about it, post and let me know so I can possibly think of an alternative. But I am speaking from experience and it works.
all I can give you is... you can't live your life in fear. You do only live once and you dont know how long that will be, so dont let it get away from you without having ever lived because you were too scared to approach a girl.
If your 20 years old, it's time you did step up, be the man, and approach the lady. The other guy is right... you are going to have to take that chance. What if you weren't the one to approach her, eventually she approaches you, and ya'll get into a relationship. Who really would be the one there feeling like they were the one that wore the pants in the relationship? It's better for the guy to approach the lady, that in itself will show confidence, and confidence is sexy. Just give it a shot! The least she can do is be like "um... I have a boyfriend.. or no." But, it ain't no thing! I'm guessing if your 20, your in college.. and maybe you have fears because of things that have happened in H.S. or Junior High, but I can also tell you.. people and things are ALOT different once your out of "high school." I'm sure it's not as bad as your imagining that it could be, ya know what I mean?
If I had to be the one to eventually approach a guy who I liked anyways, because he wouldn't do it... I probably wouldn't bother because to me.. that wouldn't show very much of a man. Ya know? You don't want her to think that, so if you like her and want to pursue it, just do it.
like 90% of stuff we (people in general) worry about... never comes to pass. With that said, please don't continue to be scared and live your life in fear. Just live it, damn it!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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