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Long Distance Marriage?


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Old 4th June 2004, 4:34 PM   #1
Kristina
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Long Distance Marriage?

OK, here's the deal. My boyfriend and I live 12 hours away, and we both know we can't live with each other again for a little over a year. I am going to visit him in a couple weeks and I would like to take our relationship to a further level; marriage. Is it a bad idea to marry someone you know you can't live with for a year? We are both completely in love and know we want to only be with each other.
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Old 4th June 2004, 4:55 PM   #2
mendingmyheart04
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How long have you been been dating?
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Old 4th June 2004, 5:02 PM   #3
Debster
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Marriage can be challenging enough when you are living together. Why would you want to add the added stress of living apart? I say if you are really in love and ready for the next step - what's the harm in waiting a year?
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Old 4th June 2004, 7:37 PM   #4
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Why can't you live together?!?!?! If your love is so important, that you want to get married, then NOTHING should be able to stop you...

It almost sounds like both of you are in college. While its very responsible to wait until you graduate to live together, it may be in your best interest to find a school closer to where he lives.

Definately don't get married, if you aren't going to be able to live together. Dating and marriage are COMPLETELY different..I know, I didn't believe it either
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Old 6th June 2004, 8:17 PM   #5
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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, we are best friends and I couldn't imagine my life without him in it in some sort of way. And yes, we are both in college, which is the reason we can't live together right now. I was actually suppose to move to be with him a month ago, but it ended up that a really great opportunity came my way for school/career. If we were married our relationship would have to remain the same for now, but our commitment to each other would be at a much deeper level. So...what do ya think?
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Old 6th June 2004, 11:29 PM   #6
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Wow. Marriage. Hm... LOL. I think I agree with Debster. You might feel better about it (knowing you're making the right decision and not scared of consequences) if you wait until you two can be together. You also said you're both in college...which in and of itself is very demanding... and that also means you're probably both still young. You have your whole lives ahead of you. I know that when you love someone that much you just want to be as close and secure with them as possible. (that quote: "When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally)

However, I still think that if you're in love and you're sure about him, then it can wait. And waiting will only make it even more special and fulfilling when it does happen later.
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Old 17th June 2004, 2:08 PM   #7
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I have been married for about a month to a man who works in the next state, (about 2 and half hours away). He comes home on the weekends, which is great in some aspects, (I get the house to myself, great weekend sex...) and really bad in others. When we first discussed marriage I thought I would be able to handle it. But now I think that it is very stressful, especially on a new marriage. It was okay when we were dating, but somehow, being married has changed this. It has caused some hurt feelings already. I guess my advice is to think over your long distance marriage, and maybe get some pre-marital counseling. I love my husband madly, but this is much harder than I ever thought it would be.
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