[rachel3]

DEar Forum,

I have been married for 15years. My husband has had many women friends and at least three affairs. This last affair I discovered through his working from home and the caller ID kept reading a number from his previous employer.

He has been fired from 5 jobs in the last year and a half and all of his jobs since we have been married. The women are his symptoms for low self esteem and I think I just tried over and over again with councelors to try and change him. Now the the third affair is in the open he wants to move out, however I felt cheated and stupid for once again believing he loved his family. He really loves himslef and his own needs.

The first week in May after I discovered the phone calls he was hiding he hit and kick me and tried to strangle me, the police were called, I was taken to the hospital and I am still recovering from my bruised lung and of course he was arrested. However he said he was sorry and cried and cried. But didn'r want to give up the girlfriend. This abuse is just one more thing I didn't need. Es[ecially to testify against him in open court.

I tried despirately over the last 5 years to hold it together only to throw him out on June 1st, when I just couldn't take the emotional distance any longer. He called 20 times after I sent him packing and then last night called and I allowed him to talk with the children.

Ironically I miss him, I guess it will take time to get over this mess, he has his girlfriend and I'm left with everything to financially take care of, he doesn't want a separate checkings account he want me to pay our bills and his until he figures out what he wants.

Used and confused, just need someone to talk with.
Rachel

[ready2moveon26]

Quite a bit of what has happend to you has happened to me as well. My husband was fired in February said that since I wasn't supportive of him, he turned to a girl from work. (Yeah, like I'm going to support him for getting himself fired...I was thinking about our family and the house payment.) He used this excuse to explain why he was spending so much time with her. I couldn't take it anymore and packed mine and my daughter's bag. The night I finally left, I had taken my daughter to my mom's house and went home. It was a normal night at home, until she called. He said, she's upset, I'm going to go find her. When he left I got my bag out and repacked everything I would need. He took my car so I had to wait for him to get home to leave. I think I drank a 6 pack of beer and the rest of the apple pucker we had in the house waiting for him. When he got home, I was sitting on the couch with my coat on and my bag was sitting on the floor...(Read my post for the rest)
I guess I say I'm lucky because I tried to get him to hit me. I wanted a physical excuse to hate him, but he wouldn't do it. SO here I am now...emotionally beat up and going through a dissolution. I have replied to several posts and have posted one of my own. If you have any questions about what has been going on...go ahead and read them...Any questions email me...ready2moveon26@yahoo.com

[Matilda]

My advice is get yourself a good lawyer, and run, run, run as fast as you can.