[CuriousOne]

[font=arial][/font][color=violet][/color]My fiancee's ex-girl is really getting on my nerves and lately it has been harder and harder to be an adult about the entire situation. Let me give a little background. They have a child together and she has been involved in a relationship for close to two years now. She actually cheated on my fiancee with her current boyfriend. My fiancee and I have been together for about 9 months and ever since we got back together she has been trying to get back with him. She sends him love letters almost every week but in my face she acts like she is completely devoted to her boyfriend. I feel like I'm at my wit's end with this girl and I'm almost at the point where I'm ready to just break off the engagement and just go back to being friends. I was watching a tv show last night and it was the same situation. He tried to resolve it by having everyone sit down and talk but I don't see how that's going to work. My friends tell me to just give it some time and it will eventually get better but it's hard to believe them when they haven't been in the same situation. I need a different point of view...maybe by someone who is/was going through something similar. Any suggestions?

[binturong]

Honestly, I've never been in that situation. When my fiance and I first got together, there were girls who would hit on him and try to "steal" him from me. I didn't even have to ask him to stop hanging out with them. He did it on his own, because he knew how upsetting it would be for me if he remained friends with them. I would think in your situation, YOU really can't do anything. It's your fiance who needs to step up to the plate and make it explicitly clear that he is DEFINITELY NOT interested in his ex and she needs to stop with the love letters.

[FolderWife]

Why would you dump your man over his stupid, slutty ex? That's what she wants. It's not necessarily his fault that she's throwing herself at him. It's a slap in the face from her, that she thinks she can take him away from you, and you should slap her right back, by not letting her stupidity get the best of you.

Is he "friends" with her? Can you post one of the "love letters" so we can see if maybe you're overreacting? Have you read them? Are they gushy mushy, or is she giving him notes about his kid or something.

I don't know. I don't see what some other woman trying to steal your man would have any bearing on your relationship with him. She's not in your relationship, you and him are. Remember that.

[Kristina]

You really can't control your boyfriend's or his x's actions, so just tell him how you feel when she sends him letters and does these things. Then it's up to him to take the next step.

[Pyrannaste]

I wonder why your bf is allowing her to write him love letters.
I hope he is not reading them.
It would be great if he started to keep them sealed and gave them back to his ex saying "sorry, I don't think it is appropriate I read them".
Does your bf shows the letters to you? How has he reacted to them so far?

This girl does not sound like a sharp mind anyway. She should realize that if your bf, or you, kept the letters and showed them to her current bf she'd be in some trouble.
(I am not necessarily giving you an hint here. There are many options better than this, and the real problem is not *her* but your bf allowing her to write to him. )