Do men usually get very involved in the wedding planning?

Thinkalot · 1st June 2004, 2:18 AM

I ask this out of curiousity more than anything else...because I'm sure different things suit different people.

Just wondering...did guys you've known, or your own husband, or indeed, yourself, have much to do with the wedding planning?

My fiance and I have discussed everything together, and will continue to do so. I have a lot more time than him though, owing to my job being less busy, and therefore will probably do more of the arranging, with him just giving me a yay or a nay to my suggestions. Plus, I love to be organised and am a bit of a control freak, so I'm happy to jump into the planning!

Some things he's even told me to look after myself, because he doesn't mind either way, and it's really only me who cares, but other things of course, he is keen to have a say in...and I love it when he gets involved. It's OUR day after all...not just mine.

Just wondering what other's experiences have been.

md_matt · 1st June 2004, 2:13 PM

The short answer is no. The long answer is she wants this to be a team effort, but the fact of the matter is that it's her day, she has things in her mind set out a certain way, I usually say yes unless I REALLY don't like the idea (it doesn't matter that much to me anyway), and so I defer a lot to her. My responsibility is to show up sober, dressed, groomed, and without a fresh case of gonorreah from the bachelor party.

binturong · 1st June 2004, 10:21 PM

I'm busy planning right now. At first, I'd ask my fiance what he wanted and he would tell me to do whatever I wanted. But I pushed and pushed, saying it was OUR wedding, not MY wedding. Boy did I regret that! (LOL!!) I wanted to do things that would save money. He wanted the exact opposite. I wanted it to be simple...have the wedding and reception in the same place. He wanted a big church with pipe organs and a fancy place for the reception. He wants things to be unique (so do I...I'm designing and making my own dress!), but he has no ideas, which leaves me trying to think of something unique and different that we could do/make. Yes, we did go for the church (which will cost about 4x as much as having the ceremony and reception at the same place) and we did get a fancy place for the reception. That's all for him. LOL...I've since stopped asking him and just show him what's going on.

Thinkalot · 1st June 2004, 11:27 PM

LOL! It seems women have more time and inclination to plan most of the time.

Samson · 1st June 2004, 11:43 PM

Quote:

My responsibility is to show up sober, dressed, groomed, and without a fresh case of gonorreah from the bachelor party.

LMFAO

md_matt, this would make you more a gentalman than 80% of the grooms I've known!

But seriously Think, since you asked, I don't think western culture has given enough credit to men who plan weddings, or those that help plan weddings, or florists, or hair stylists.

Thinkalot · 2nd June 2004, 1:21 AM

Perhaps not Samson. It's nice to see you around by the way. Hope all's well in your part of the world.

jmargel · 2nd June 2004, 10:43 AM

My fiancee wants to plan it all out. Though she is finally agreeing to some things. We finally settled on a wedding song, normally I wouldn't mind but the song she wanted was bad. 'Waiting for tonight' by Jennifer Lopez. I was able to compromise that, that song will be the song before she comes out, and 'A new day' by Celine Dion will be the song she walks down to.

I picked out the tux for myself and for my groomsmen. She specifically said she didn't want to come because she would then be offering her opinion. I think she realized that I was feeling pretty left out. The only problem now, is everyone is offering their opinions on what should be going on in the wedding. She doesn't like that and I don't blame her. My mom is always talking about wedding stuff to her, and it's really upsetting her. Perhaps I should talk to my mom a little. My mom has a heart of gold and wants to show it. She tries to do this by offering help, etc.. My fiancee wants her own mom to be a bigger part, which I don't blame her. But her mom is the type not to help unless called upon, since she doesn't want to seem intrustive. Weddings are very stressful, and I can't wait til after we are married, where we don't have to worry about so many things.

InmannRoshi · 2nd June 2004, 12:46 PM

When you see those wedding magazines on the newstands the size of the Warren Commission, do you really think they're marketing those towards men? They never seem to be in the sports or car&mechanic sections.

jmargel · 2nd June 2004, 1:36 PM

I think men should play a role in planning the wedding. Its our day too. Yes she is suppose to feel like a princess, but if she plans it only to her taste what would the groom feel? Would this be the beginning of the end of all decision making on his part?

If the groom decided to 'control' everything about the wedding and not let the bride have any input, all of you would be saying 'Don't marry him, he's a control freak'. To me, this is the same thing as letting the bride control it.

Thinkalot · 2nd June 2004, 8:23 PM

I think it's really important both partners have input, for sure! I love it when my fiance offers ideas.

carla · 3rd June 2004, 12:06 AM

I think traditionally most of the time it's the women that do the planning with her friends and family and the guys just go along b/c all the pizazz is not what concerns them. We are both lucky enough to have men that are into wanting to be a part of making the day special. Good Luck with all of your planning.