whats up people of this forum....

Ok, Iv'e been reading these posts and everything, and I read up on the one post with the skinny dude with low-self esteem. I never did this forum thing, and I really dont know who's reading them, but maybe some of you have some answers....here we go....

Im about 5'10..I think...and 210 lbs. Im not skinny like the the other dude, but in my perspective the exact opposite, but with the exact same problem, only Im not 18, im turning 20 late June. I dont have any self esteem, and it sucks...im always thinking im a fat ass, i dont really watch my diet, but I swim for at least half an hour like three times a week, I dont lift weights..not that I wont..I just dont...perhaps I should?....ok...

Well, there is a chick....and I know what your saying...."hahah, its always a chick"..perhaps the cause of mans demise?...man that movie Troy really puts it in perspective..anyway, I think she's very pretty, f*** that....beautiful, and I have been her freind for like two years, but I told her that I was in love with her last fall. Well, she told me the same thing the skinny dude was told..."you gotta love yourself"...how u do that?...i dont know, thats why im writing this right?...ok so, I have always been in love with her, but she wants me as a friend, and she is the type who always needs a bf, so she has these two guys, one form which she recently broke up with "indefiantely" (who knows)....and one who she is on and off, and a guy she talks to who lives in california. I would say she prefers the company of men, she's not a whore or anything, she doesnt sleep around, but she likes guys being around better. I know her so well too, at least i used too, i saw her for the first time in a long time recently...but things right now are a buddies satus, and I know I think I could have made it more than that before, I might have screwed things up, all Im asking is anyone who has had the same..please not similar, and if so if u wont mind sharing it, but preferably the same...if you are older and married and a woman with the same story from back in the day, PLEASE SHARE IT, and tell me what he did....but the bottom line is please

[faux]

Again, the problem here is, as you stated, self-esteem and self-perception. Stop focusing on this girl. Chances are, she isn't interested in anything else because you are so down on yourself. It could even just be that you have been friends for a while now, and she wants to keep it that way.

Once you focus on improving yourself, which is the most important thing, you will feel much better and the confidence you lack will come to you in time. No one ever really feels all that wonderful about himself much of the time, even when he has decent self-esteem, but no one should ever be too critical.

The "loving yourself" thing comes with you deciding to change. You know, if you don't like your weight start getting more active and put yourself on a nice life-long diet (none of those silly fad things), get involved in more hobbies and seek out new friends. Worrying about issues like this girl, for instance, will only hinder your progress. It is unclear from your post if you have specifically told her how you feel. Be glad that you have a good friend, and that she is not some girl you did not really know, and blew you off.

Hey,

I'm a 20 year old girl and I used to feel exactly like you did until I finally realized that I am a good person and got comfortable with the idea of not needing to be in a relationship to figure thta out. The thing is that you can't expect to enter into a relatioship expecting the other person to make you happy or give you self esteem. That puts way too much pressure on your partner and, well... things just can't work out when there's all this pressure.

You need to realize that you are worth something. You are a good person. FInd out your talent and flaunt it. DO what makes you feel happy. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. When you can get comfortable being yourself, you won't need to depend on someone else to give you esteem or happiness and you'll have girls crawling all over you.