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Developing LDR?
I'll apologize right now for the long post but this is a rather complex situation. Brief synopsis: wife wants divorce, I've accepted that and am trying to move on, starting to look at other women as potential mates, having feelings for good friend but she lives 750 miles away.
Reasons for the divorce aren't really important. I had issues to deal with but really she was just unhappy with her life and wanted out. I tried to get her to go to counseling and we were supposedly working on it through a 6 month seperation, but I think now she already had her mind made up and couldn't tell me. That was always a problem with us-communication.
So I've gone through all the emotions. I'm not thinking of her as much, although I know I'm not totally done with the feelings of melancholy that hit me out of the blue. I think that is from the feeling of loneliness and not so much from missing her. Either way I'm trying to focus my attention on taking care of my life:house, job, school.
The issue is my feelings for my friend. I'm intelligent enough to know that right now some of those feelings are just being redirected from my wife to her, but we really seem to connect. We first met a couple of years ago while she was working in my city. We wound up training together (running) which gave us a lot of time to talk. We share many of the same views of life. We have common interests. We just clicked. I won't lie and say that I didn't have the "If I wasn't married..." idea, I believe everyone does at some point, but I was committed to my wife (then) and any thought I had was merely fleeting. She was in a LDR with her boyfriend(future fiance)at the time, but they knew her assignment was only for a year. We stayed in touch off and on after she moved back, mainly about our running experinces.
A few months before I discovered my wife was leaving me, my friend's boyfriend took a new job in another city and told her he didn't want her to go with him. So our conversations got a little more personal and I naturally gravitated to her when my problems started. She was very supportive and encouraging, mainly just listening. Now when we talk it's a little less focused on our problems and more our lives. We send emails more regularly and talk more on the phone. I visited her city after "the end" of my marriage, and got to have dinner with her. I think that's when I started to think of her as more than a friend.
Right now we are both so busy in our lives. The last conversation we had ended by discussing how hard it is to fit dating into our schedules and how something has to give. I know I have to wait for everything to be finalized before I get serious with anyone.
So, is there a chance? Most discussion seems to be on going to a ldr from an established commitment. Any ideas on how to grow a relationship from a distance? We've invited each other to come visit for races and such with the offer of a place to stay. I've made the comment about how nice her city is for activities (my town is significantly smaller) and she's told me I'll have to come back out to visit. Maybe I'm reading too much into the situation but I would definitely ask her out (after the divorce) if we lived closer. I guess I'm really afraid she'll find someone else before I have the opportunity.
Any ideas, thoughts, opinions greatly appreciated.
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