[Kris1]

I've 17, going to be 18 soon. And I really feel depressed all the time.

I don't think i'm normal looking, Im 5'6 and only weigh about 100pounds.
I hate being skinny, and not having any convidence in myself.

Over the past year I have been w/o a girlfriend, COMPLETELY miserable and to the point where I was considering suicide.

I guess i've really had enough and want to change the way my life goes. I'll be a senior next year and I figured this summer is a great time to change.

I was thinking about Lifting Weights and buying those muscle supplements or whatever.

I was just wondering if you can give me some suggestions about Dieiting, Getting more muscle, and also I could use help getting a girl.

I've been trying to get a girlfriend for the past year and I guess i'm not really getting much, I am too much of a "nice guy". what do u all think?

[average guy]

Hi Kris1,

Well, it's hard to tell if you are "too much of a "nice guy"" by simply reading your post As to whether women prefer a$#h@les more than nice guys, I'll let any women who reply advise you about that.

However, I would not suggest altering your body with suplliments just to get a date. If you enjoy working out, great do it. But don't start falling into a cycle of thinking that the perfect body will get you a gf.

I would give yourself time to settle into who you are and learn to relax with that and you will find that things fall into place. You are still very young (in the big picture of life) and trust me, you will find a woman who likes you for who you are and what you look like. Just be comfortable with yourself

Cheers,

A.G.

[Kris1]

I've been skinny my life and I want to at least look a little bigger not as big as Arnold Govenator.

It just really sucks. Sometimes I feel like i'm WAY too nice to the point where I feel like a damn girl. I think i'm too sensitive about girls, Like I really only think about being with a girl to fall in love with her, unlike about 80% of the guys my age who just want some action.

Being this sensitive guy has gotten me NOWHERE. I am lonely as hell. And people give me advice as to "Be Myself and u'll find the right girl" Well trust me, No girl I have met so far has even bothered to go out with me because the other guy she can choose is most likely a bad boy.

Anymore suggestions would help... thanks!

[average guy]

I know exactly how you feel about wanting a girl to love not to have sex with, I was exactly the same way. And I am in no way implying that this is your case, but for me it was because of two things: my father was an abusive alcholic who beat me, my mother and my sisters (not a lbing environment), and I was molested as a little boy (not feeliing safe sexually or even being naked with someone). So, like I said, this in no way implies that what happened to me has happened to you, but I would try and figure out why you want to someone to love. Is it because of low self-esteem? Poor body image? lonlieness?

The reason I say to do this is that the chances of you finding "true love" on your first date in high school are about as good as winning the lottery. If you can feel more confident about yourself, love yourself (I just saw a thread a while ago about how you can only love someone else after you ove yourself) then I think you will become less dependant on needing a gf to love. Now, having said that I completely understand that it is wonderful to love someone and be loved by them, and that is the main reason we are here on earth in my opinion, but don't go looking for love for the wrong reasons. Learn to love youreslf, and I guarentee you that people will start to gravitate to you because they can sense they warm "glow" of love around you.

Good luck

[dudesomewhere]

dude...hehe

firstly, have you seen a doctor to see what your projected final adult height will be? You could end up 6'3" by 22.

As for the nice guy thing, that I can't say. Though I do know that many guys who think they are "nice" are just dorks and geeks. Now I don't put "nerd" in there because I'd want to be a nerd...who doesn't want to be smart eh? Me? I'm a nice guy but I'm a buff bitch too . I don't want to get all the ladies. So you have to ask yourself if you actually are the type who wants to get a l the ladies but just hasn't had the opportunity yet...which would make you not the nice guy.

As for getting on a diet for gaining weight, think fast food. But if you want to gain quality weight in the form of muscle, use a 1 gram of protein per lb of bodyweight ratio diet. Eat every 2 hours your waking period. Eat lots of eggs and tuna, they are economical sources of protein. And since you are skinny, don't be afraid to hit the whole egg, yolk included.

For supplements, you don't really need anything except multi-vitamins and maybe creatine. Creatine is like a muscle buffer. Stay away from fads unless you are rich, lol.

For training, remember the simple rule of more weight, less reps equals stronger but not larger muscles...moderate weight, moderate rep for ideal growth...etc. Guys get too macho in the gym with heavy weights and do nothing but develop bulk...no real muscle. Aim to look like Jean Claude VanDamme and not like Jim Belushi. Do 3 exercises per body part with 3-5 sets in a range of 10 reps, give or take 12. For example 12, 10, 8, 6...etc. Gauge what your body feels like it can do.

Eating normally but wiser, choosing better quality foods and training as above will earn you about 20-30 lbs of muscle your first year. Take it slow....

quote:
"Like I really only think about being with a girl to fall in love with her, unlike about 80% of the guys my age who just want some action."

I think you should increase that percentage by 10% and also remember that women are not all that different from men...so 80-90% of girls are girll jerks as well and just want some action...and money, lol. But learn to love yourself first, that'll enable you to walk a noble path alone and not feel lonely...making it all the more special when you do find those few females you wish to date.

[zoomer]

OH I have so much to say here...don't know if there's room. First of all, I am a 40 yr old female who married someone just like you and we had beautiful twin boys. My boys are now 16 and are 5'6", 100 lbs and 5'7, 103lbs. I never had any problems getting dates, and guess I would consider myself attractive...whew that's kind of hard to say....but I try to take good care of myself and my husband never would ask me out for fear I would say no. He always said he thought I was out of his league. Hum...he had a very low self esteem (as you certainly do). Your size has nothing to do with how others perceive you. Your attitude, your personality, etc, do! My boys began the cycle all over again by thinking they are too small. My husband now has to watch his weight and is, I would say the "average" size. In school he always hung out with the popular folks and had the best personality...he was so funny, and very popular himself. We didn't began dating until after High school when I ran into him and thought what a wonderful person he was....I asked him out! I had dated all those "beefed up" guys and to tell you the truth, it wasn't all that....the ones I encountered....I learned quickly that there wasn't much upstairs or down...lol.

My husband was the farthest thing from geek, nerd, etc.... he was quite the opposite. The only thing he had to work on was his self-esteem and that was from being "small". I have tried to instill in my boys that it is how they treat others and their personality and learn in school that is important. Now not to say that my boys aren't "good looking" they are ! And not just to me because I'm their mother....they have lots of friends and girls calling here etc., They are very handsome boys but I don't want them to have low self esteem. That would be the first thing to work on...You DO have to love yourself before you can Love another. If you work on loving yourself...look in the mirror and Know that you look good....hold your head up, walk with your shoulders back, smile, and be happy....the rest will fall into place! I could go on and on....but not sure I'm getting my point across. I hope you will trust me on this and how "skinny" you are makes no difference, it simply doesn't matter. Skinny folks live longer and are the envy of fat people. Wouldn't you want to be skinny much more than fat? Whew I would. By the way, I'm skinny too and love it.

[Baby Beaver]

Don't know if this helps, but When I was younger I remember my Dad used to drink this protein drink to help bulk up when he was weight training.
I don't know the name of it, it comes in a powder form and you add water or milk to it. You can get it from health food shops like holland and barrett.