Success is how you cope with things and it works....
I just got dumped the 1st of this month via phone call stating that she was seeing someone else and moved on. I then grieved [still a little sad] for 3 weeks and during that time I proceeded to change my routine and cleaned my house and cleaned myself up. I got a haircut, started waking up earlier [because I cant sleep] and even made a small list of stuff to do in case I tried to call her and/or think about her.
I'm not gonna lie and say that I stuck with the no contact rule, but I followed it close and keep phone conversations within 5-10 mins if I had to talk to her. The good news is that I started looking for new jobs and after some interviews, I think I found one. This job makes more money for me and is stable...now I am thinking about my future and places I wanna see and things to do. Hopefully I will meet someone new, but I am not counting on it...just gonna try and do for me for a while.
I still miss my love, and I get some weakness but as I write this on the 29th day, I can only look for forward to my career. "So let her be with that loser, I already had her!" I say to myself because, this plane is taking off...as soon as I get a new job, I'm gonna join a club, take some classes, save money.....
Yeah yeah, it still hurts, but it is a process, I had to allow myself to "die inside"...the old me and try and find the new me.
Hope this helps the ones that are hurting.
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I been sitting here cant get you out my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing that I could touch your face
But the truth remains...You're GONE.
Best thing you can do is to keep yourself busy! Take it day by day and you'll be fine. Time heals most of wounds, you know ... not too many chances for you to be the exception!
Location: where Eagles fly...maybe....still too soon to tell
Posts: 1,367
Well done, my friend!!!! Hope everything continues to work out well for you!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dave1234, joy of joys and greatest LoveShack love toy.
I, Dave, hath chosen to also photo with long lense which protrudes from my camera of life force and shows falic symbol erected in direction of assembled love mass. .... but telephoto lense being hard and erect will attract many horny love-sturved babes to my shift before deadline and I will go into press room behind ink barrel to press lense into soft, velvet case and make love froever more. .....
thanks for sharing. i think i am on the same boat right now. hope i can get the job i want after this friday's interview. fourth round. they paid flight tickets and hotel and everything in between for me.
i need to study more now in case they ask me tough questions.
That sort of sounds like me. Even though it was over a longer period. Like a year ago now. After my Ex broke up with me and left me for his Ex. That relationship comes back to haunt me. Barely anymore now! Almost like a year later I got a new job (was unemployed for a while) and a new boyfriend pretty much at the same time.
I would love to see them and rub it into his girlfriends face (who was his Ex at the time. Think I hate her even more!) that my life is so much better now and that my new wonderful boyfriend is not the messed up loser that her boyfriend (my Ex) is. Glad I got away from his or should I say their problems. My new current boyfriend is the complete oppostie of that. Not attached to anybody from the past at all either. .
Plus my new job is pretty cool. Still got to get used to working full time but. I will get there though.
If only they knew. Revenge would be ever so sweet!
im hopefully going to be getting a type of revenge on my ex when we cross each others paths when we are on holiday this summer....we are both going on holiday where we first met last year same time and same place...bad timing i know.
i think shes going to be suprised how fit im looking when we bump into each other.....i have been working out twice a day for the last three months and there is a massive difference,,,,i cant wait to show her how much better off i am now
I think the best "revenge" is knowing that yourself is going to be able to live a fulfilling life without her, knowing that you are so much more mature and stronger now, knowing that you have grown out of her(unless she is more mature now).
For me, I wouldn't even tell her if I got this new job, what's the point of confusing someone who is already confused. I would start my new life with passion.
I am glad to hear the positive side of a breakup. Things do work out sometimes, no matter how irrational and painful they were in the beginning.
Update! I gave into weakness and called her a couple weeks ago to ask her what were her reasons for dumping me, and she got all hostile and bent outta shape about it....which means to me that she still misses me. The funny thing is that a couple weeks before that after the breakup I looked at her eye to eye and I seen that she still cares but she wants her fun more...sure i am torn up that I have been replaced by some chump, but I now realise that this dude is not me. So it continues my 1 month of NC and hopefully NC for the rest of the Summer! then Fall then Winter! I take it day by day.
Anyways the main point of the post is that I just landed a new job that makes more money and as soon as I take care of some immediate expenses then its off to the Gym I go so that I can workout again. I hope to be lookin right by August.
Will she knock on my door? Will she call me? Prolly not..., Am I over her? Not really? Do I still love her? YES! But I've realized that she is being selfish rightnow and theres no sense in me trying to get a greedy person to share. My heart will be broken but I will live with this wound. I aint done yet and with the grace of GOD, I'm gonna get through this!
I've made a list of what I wanna accomplish and I want to stick to it, if someone or my ex comes along then I will deal with it but for now, I will try to be successful so that I can learn to be independent again [What I was before her!]
Its a lonely road fellas and it is long, keep running and dont look back!
Props to you brother... I like the analogy you used -- she's being selfish and there's no use being with someone like that.
You can get over it... and weightlifting and working out is one of the best ways. Releases those endorphins and gets you feeling good. There's nothing better than feeling nice and ripped after a good workout.
Originally posted by estakado
Thanks for the replies!
Update! I gave into weakness and called her a couple weeks ago to ask her what were her reasons for dumping me, and she got all hostile and bent outta shape about it....which means to me that she still misses me. The funny thing is that a couple weeks before that after the breakup I looked at her eye to eye and I seen that she still cares but she wants her fun more...sure i am torn up that I have been replaced by some chump, but I now realise that this dude is not me. So it continues my 1 month of NC and hopefully NC for the rest of the Summer! then Fall then Winter! I take it day by day.
Anyways the main point of the post is that I just landed a new job that makes more money and as soon as I take care of some immediate expenses then its off to the Gym I go so that I can workout again. I hope to be lookin right by August.
Will she knock on my door? Will she call me? Prolly not..., Am I over her? Not really? Do I still love her? YES! But I've realized that she is being selfish rightnow and theres no sense in me trying to get a greedy person to share. My heart will be broken but I will live with this wound. I aint done yet and with the grace of GOD, I'm gonna get through this!
I've made a list of what I wanna accomplish and I want to stick to it, if someone or my ex comes along then I will deal with it but for now, I will try to be successful so that I can learn to be independent again [What I was before her!]
Its a lonely road fellas and it is long, keep running and dont look back!
Keep posting!
I LOVE that post..... Good man... Sounds like something simalar to what i did.... And am still tryin to do...
We all do what we can with what knowldge we have and when you post up things like this it helps others, in more ways then you know... Props to you estakado........
Thanks for the support guys! Yeah, please dont take my post as some sunshine though, I mean I do my best to keep myself busy but it is still hard to eat all this pain and live with it. The list that I made myself really helps to keep me in check because whenever I get a free moment I turn to it and do one of my tasks and or call a friend/family to talk to. Also on any free moment, I've been just cleaning and re-organising my house, listening to old CD's and finding old stuff to sell or throw out...man what a task.
I've broken down twice today just thinking about her and what really sux out of an 8 year relationship is the fact that the whole world seems to constantly remind me of her, like couples everwhere, songs on the radio, old movies on TV...man its killing me. What also kills me is that the 4th is coming soon, as well as my B-day and the holidays that end the year...will I ever see her again? Man I know I have to cross her mind sometime and her memories of me cant all be bad. We had more good times than bad.
Will I see her again? Yeah I really hope so, but I want to have her see me as a strong confident person more. That way she can be reminded of what she we had. I am happy that she is happy though, at least from what I know that she is doing some good with herself. I just worry about her future and if she will ever accomplish her goals because she sometimes procrastinates. I hate to see her hurt. Plus, again some of her friends are bad influences that make drama outta nuthin.
About this new guy of hers, I've been thinking, yeah it must be great right now for her gettin all this attention and doing stuff, but it cant be all party all the time and the honeymoon phase will end sometime...and in the end thats where I will be....I will be stronger and get through this to decide how it ends. I truly still miss her...but I got to keep on. I am proud not to have called her....I tell myself every morning that "she aint gonna come through my door today and that she knows where home is if she really wants to come back"....this helps me get my day going and I suggest that anyone in the same spot should write/say something to themselves every morning to ease the pain. I'm hangin in there, I'm playin more tourney paintball, reading more books, listenin to more music, running every other mornin, chatting more online...but even those activities have their limits....I miss sharing those activites with her, I miss our talks, I miss her smile, I miss her smell, I miss her...
"she aint gonna come through my door today and she knows where home is if she really wants to come back"
Month 2 comin to a close and hopefully someday soon I will stop counting. This weekend again is time to go on another blind date and meaninless sex...
i think what you need is a lesson on how to date other people again.
not for fun or for revenge, but simply do what singles do, try out other people, see if there is a match somewhere else.
I think a lot of people having a hard time coping, including myself, is because we've been in a relationship for a long time and we kind of forgot about how to date. At least in the short term.
Your right, they know where home is if they want to come home. I feel your pain, hurts like a mother F*****. The honey moon phase will end, and you'll be there if you decide you still want to be. I'm sure all her memories of you aren't all bad. I think women can be every bit as hurtful as men, if not more.
My ex has given me the silent treatment, the worst punishment of them all.
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It sounds like you're taking responsibility for your actions and doing all the right things.
... not too many chances for you to be the exception!
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