[digger]

ive written b4--after 21 years she files for divorce--i dont love you anymore--im sooo happy now---i can do what i want to do (hell we were laughing on xmas). And no there is no one else. Anyway i went to the house last night with flowers to wish her happy anniversary of the date of our engagement--she wouldnt even touch em--said she didnt want em--i offered her a card with my promises (and an invite that if she wanted to work it out meet me fri night at 730 at a restaurant--even if you just wanna talk about it and i also gave her a tape of a song that was sung at our wedding. The song goes, "its more than just the 2 of us and we just have to keep holding on holding on. Upon my arrival she starts in on me--you did this 10 yrs ago--you did that. Then walks in and slams the door. I was shattered. i snuck back this morning and went in the house. Card opened, tape not. I'd never seen such anger dwell in a person. From a woman who ALWAYS professed her love and wanted us to "stay with me forever"as her birthday card said to me only 6 months ago. I'm giving up and getting my own apartment tomorrow.

[Wolvesbaned]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. All I can say is you're not alone and it does get better in time. It's been just a little over a month since he made up his mind. Less than 2 months before that he was professing his love for me (it might have been only a month but I don't feel like finding my old planner and everything is stir a little hazy). I will never understand how someone can love you and just suddenly stop.

Good luck finding in your apartment. It'll do you some good. If you have family or people you can trust you should contact them - there's nothing wrong with a little help, even if its just for emotional support, especially at a time like this.

Update us on what's happening - we're more or less all going through the same thing.

Take care of yourself.

[molly]

i may be off base here, but as the old adage goes...indifference is the opposite of love, NOT hate. the fact that she still has so much anger indicates that she isn't completely over your relationship either. it's the mantra around here, but i'd say back off. your attempts to win her over are merely fueling all that self-righteous anger she has built up. at least try it and see what happens. at least give the impression that you're moving on. and then, maybe, you actually will.

[digger]

very helpful advice which ive heard 1000 times
does that hold true if she says 'youve done things i'll never forget'!!!

[ready2moveon26]

As much as I hate hearing this, I'm going to say it cause it's true: I know how you feel! I tried for a long time to make my marriage work and it's not going to work with one person trying. My husband bought me a new diamond for my birthday...two weeks before christmas...and we were done in early February. I was so hurt because I thought that new diamond meant a new way of life for him. I thought it meant he was in love with me and I was the person he still wanted for the rest of our lives. I can't let him hurt me over and over again, so I am done. It is all I can do for myself and our daughter. I can't let her see us learn to hate one another and that is what was about to happen. I am a good person and deserve to be happy. I still love my husband, but I love the person he used to be...when we got married and for the first two years. I do not know the person he is now, but do not like him very much. Anyway, I know how you feel and it's time to move on, I strongly believe that everyone deserves to be happy