[greyskies]

Am I ever gonna stop doing this to myself. I have stayed the past almost 2 weeks at my exes house. We have been getting along so good and he even bought me a gift. And I havent spent hardly anything on him. He has been coming over to where Im staying directly from work to take me with him where ever. And had me staying the night every single night. Hes even is holding me like we use to hold each other. Last night I stayed there but he had said his mom said that was the last night. But he said he was gonna talk to her to see. Anyway I got him off to work this morning and he dropped me off at my friends. Well it is now 3:00 am and Im sitting here waiting for him like a dumby. I keep thinking I hear his car and I keep wondering WTF? But do I have the right to feel like he should have at least called me or something. Or am I just blowing a week and a half of pure genuine love off like it means nothing to me? I am so stupid arent I for allowing myself to be sucked in like that again only to be shot down when he was through with me? My sister invited him and I to a dinner on Saturday and he said he really wanted to go with me. And I know he will. But is this healthy for me? Why am I so hurt right now? What is wrong with me?

[uriel]

A lot of the answers you're seeking depend on your history with your guy -- and why you've been apart. Is it possible for him to turn over a new leaf? Is it possible for you to trust him again and for the two of you to reconnect?

I don't know. I do know that you're going to have to have a serious talk with him soon -- maybe after dinner Saturday if he shows. You need to know what this renewed contact means. If he's evasive or refuses to recommit to seeing where this takes the two of you, then tell him firmly there's no future and you need to move on with no further contact.

That is, if you believe he's not terrible for you and that you CAN learn to trust him again. Only you can answer that. Why not start by making a list of what you'd need from him to begin to trust and rebuild? Share that with him -- see if he squirms, gets defensive, or bolts. Unless -- of course -- your own list convinces you that he's nothing but more heartbreak waiting to happen.

Sorry - I wish this wasn't causing you so much turmoil. Hard to lovesome you can't be sure of -- but that's what your message communicates is where you're at.

-- uriel

[lexnmike4enomore]

Any red blooded American would feel the exact same way you are. Does he want to get back together or what? I think that he misses the way it used to be. he wants that without all the strings attached. In a way you have a right to feel like this and you don't. On one hand you guys aren't officially "back together" so he really shouldn't have to check in. But in your head you think that things are going to be the same again by the way hes acting so of course your hurt. I would lay everything out on the table. Thats the only way to clarify whats actually going on here. You need closure and theres no better way than to confront him straight up. Hope this helps.