One date does not qualify you for wedding bells so relax. Have fun and see what happens. You may decide later on this is someone you really want to date or you both might lose interest. It is too soon to skip to the last page of the book.
About footing the bill. You should always be prepared to pay if you are the one who asked them out. I imagine that she will offer to pay her share and then it is up to you both how you want to handle it.
I do hope you both have a good time, a lot of laughs and great conversation!
It's just lunch. Take a deep breath, relax and just be you. There is a reason why she said 'YES". Try asking her what made her do so. Find out her intentions and express yours through casual conversation and then decide if you want a 2nd date. First dates are tough and you will both be jumbled up inside with butterflies and jitters, but once you have both laid your cards on the table, you will feel more comfortable.
If you look back 6 months from now and you are still dating her, then you will know that you were ready. Don't plan so much for the what if's, just live for the fun of the moment and enjoy her company.
The general 'rule" in dating, from a woman's perspective is... If you asked me out, you pay. But here is a little hint for you. If she offers to pay, she likes you and wants to show you that she is not superficial. If she INSISTS on paying, she is not really interested and does not want to feel that she owes you anything.
Location: Immigration office, Narita Airport, Japan
Posts: 8,832
But here is a little hint for you. If she offers to pay, she likes you and wants to show you that she is not superficial. If she INSISTS on paying, she is not really interested and does not want to feel that she owes you anything.
Thanks for the tip. I always kinda wondered about this one.
If she INSISTS on paying, she is not really interested and does not want to feel that she owes you anything.
Amerikajin, there is no 'female rules book' read and followed by all women. Women may 'insist' on paying for any number of reasons so don't take what mysunshine said to be gospel.
__________________
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
If I asked a guy out, I fully expected to pay for dinner (my idea, my pay). If he asked me out, I made sure I have enough money to cover my share (just in case). But as my mudder once said, the asker pays if the askee accepts.
I do have some guy friends who (no matter who asks whom) will insist on paying because they feel it is their responsiblity (we are nothing more than friends and it is never in a date context). I have offered to pay just because it feels fair but they will not allow me to pay for anything (when we play golf, I can't even buy my own water). So I think it depends on the people who are involved and their feelings towards the subject.
I do hope you have a great time and hope it all works out.
If a woman INSISTS on paying, for any other reason than she is not interested and does not want to owe me anything, then she can shove it. It's a slap in the face to have one's chivalry spat on.
Location: Immigration office, Narita Airport, Japan
Posts: 8,832
She sent me a text message at 11:30 to tell me she couldn't make it to lunch tomorrow because of a "problem with (her) apartment".
What a f_cked up lying cunt. She's so f_cking full of ***** her eyes are brown.
I don't want to hear anymore ***** from any b!tches on this forum about my dating two or three women at a time. That's exactly why. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, ya know?
Message to all you guys out there. Play the field. Screw a woman's feelings.
F_ck yes, I'm p!ssed. I have every right to be. If there's one thing I don't like, it's being played for a sucker.
Hey ~ calm down. The reason she gave you could very well be true (although it seems a bit rude to have done it text message and not by phone). You are pretty upset .. aren't you going to talk to her about maybe another time or something?
I don't have anything against a guy (or gal) dating two or three people at the same time. AS long as all the parties involved are well aware of the situation and thereby no feelings get hurt.
Don't get too upset brother! So she flaked out...so what. Girls seem to do that a lot to their own best friends even. It'll piss you off but DON'T EXPRESS IT!!! Feel it, get over it, and move on man. If you're chill about it (I'm suspecting you might not have been) she might call you. Its happened. My girlfriend flaked out on me BIGTIME when we first met, now she's the best gf I've ever had.
The bottom line is that you're not really high on her priorities list right now...but so what? Why should you be? Understand that and understand that it will take time for you to move up on her list...If you guys are still talking in 6 months and she's still flaking out on you THEN you can get pissed.
To comment on all the diverse methods and expectations expressed in this thread: I imagine that there was a time when tradition governed this kind of thing and we all knew what was expected of us...ahhhh how refreshing would that be?
Location: Immigration office, Narita Airport, Japan
Posts: 8,832
Okay, you're right - I should calm down. Trying. Sorry.
No, I know a cancel when I see one. She would have said let's meet some other time or something like that, but she didn't.
I didn't respond to her first message because I didn't think it was necessary. I "got the picture" then.
She then sent me another one about 30 minutes later, just to make sure I got her first message. I responded by saying 'No worries. See you on Friday' (at work).
My guess is that she either wanted to go out drinking tonight or go to bed feeling a little better about things (since we work together).
I know, I know...dating people at work is fraught with risks. It's just that over here work is about the only place where I can have a "normal" relationship.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Have fun and see what happens. You may decide later on this is someone you really want to date or you both might lose interest. It is too soon to skip to the last page of the book.
Linear Mode
