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Comfort Zone in our relationship, does that mean we need to break up or is it normal?

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Old 22nd May 2004, 7:31 PM   #1
Miss_Behavin143
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Question Comfort Zone in our relationship, does that mean we need to break up or is it normal?

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So.. I love my boyfriend, he's wonderful, we've been together 8 months, he makes me happy, he's my DREAM guy actually.. perfect HUSBAND material....

But.. I'm just at this stage where it's like.. I dont have that in love, lovey dovery, giddy feeling all the time. Is that normal? I mean.. is it just a comfort zone that every couple gets to.. and it's not something you should break up over just because you don't feel all butterflies all the time? We're together everyday for at LEAST 8 hours.. so... I feel like we have hit the comfort zone.

My thing is... my first love was when I was 16, I know I loved him.. but after 2 weeks of us being together constantley he moved away... we never had the chance to have to sit around and watch tv every night and not really do anything but "be together."

MY husband with whom I'm getting a divorce right now as he left me... we dated less than a year before we got married..... he left in March... less than a year that we'd been dating for Kuwait, he was deployed... got back in September, we got married, in December we had a baby, and he left again in Janurary for Kuwait/Iraq.. got back in July and left me. I never had the "comfort zone" feeling with him because it was almost like we were always honeymooning and happy because we weren't together that much.. and when we were..... it was either the beginning of our relationship where we always partied and stuff, or right after we got married and he had just got home from oversea's, or right after we had our daughter.. we always had something that kept us from just being "together" without always having something going on. You know what I mean?

So, now that I am in a relationship where we CAN'T go out partying all the time, and we are together every single day... with nothing new happening... I feel like we are at the comfort zone where we are just kinda "settled" with each other. I do love him though, he makes me happy, and I enjoy being with him. I'm just.. kinda... bored? I guess?

IS this normal? or is it not normal and we need to break up?
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Old 22nd May 2004, 7:41 PM   #2
moimeme
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Do you really think that people who stay married a long time have 'butterflies all the time'???? Read up about infatuation and love. They are very different.
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Old 23rd May 2004, 12:41 AM   #3
allheart
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[color=darkred][font=courier new]IN the beginning of any new relationship there are intense feelings of romance, excitement, all brought about by the 'newness' of it all. You have a precious baby now and life will never be the same again. You are a mommie and that will be the most important job you will ever have. You have to try innovative ways to keep the romance alive....I'm a big fan of 'date night' --that's where once or twice a month, you and your SO go out on a 'date' and leave the baby with a trusted adult. It wouldn't surprise me either, if some of the partying begins to get 'boring' to you as you are getting older and you have a child at home to think about, which should be your priority at all times. Go on little trips with your beau...go to the movies....put some spice back into the relationship. Everyday will not be a fairytale, but there are things you can do to develop that emotional intimacy that helps to keep partners from feeling bored.

Good luck!
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