I'm 39 years old and I have a relationship with another woman for the last 2 years. We live together in her house. She's older than me (59 years). I love her very much, more than I think she loves me. We have a great relationship and we're similar in many ways. However, sometimes we can have big arguments, mostly over small stuff like groomming the dog or not, forget to clean stuff around the house, working too late, etc.

She just retired and I see that she's really frustrated and depressed with her new life as a retired woman, debts and other worries. She's not the kind of person that shares things with me but she has mentioned those things when we fight.

We are planning to travel to PR for a week. She always wanted to retire there but I though she wasn't doing that at this moment because she need to take care of her sick father in US. All of the sudden she says that she might stay in PR to buy an apartment.

I travel a lot for work and also come home late. I have seen some frustration when that happens. In July I need to go to Prague to work for 6 weeks and I assumed that she was goign to take care of my dog. She said she is not going to spent all her summer at home taking care of the dog for me to travel fro business. This was our last fight. After this one she said is was over between us.

She says she loves me but that she can walk away from me. I'm devastated, she's asking me for time and space but I can give her that because we're living in the same house and I can't live without her close to me. She doesn't want me to touch her or nothing, She's just asking me to back off until she sort things out. I'm desperate, tell me what to do. It is not easy. I'll do anything for her. I don't one to her to fall in love with someone else.

[2ndConfusedfemale]

If you'll "do anything" for her, you should be willing to do what she asks for and give her space. That is NOT to say that I agree with her because I don't. I don't believe in the "space" comments (they are to vague). But I think that you should ask her what she wants, and if she says that she needs space to figure that out, you need to let her know, that you aren't going to pressure her into doing something that she doesn't want to do, but you aren't going to be her doormat either. Oh, and stop showing her more love than you are showing yourself, you can live without her, she isn't the beginning and ending of the world, and if she REALLY wants to be in a committed relationship with you (or anyone) she needs to know that withdrawing is not how a couple handles problems.