I hate to sound cruel, but from the gist of your post, it sounds like he's emotionally attracted to you, but not physically. Maybe he likes girls with blonder hair...maybe he likes longer leggs, who knows.
It sounds like his insistance on being "just friends" was because that yes, he was attracted to your personality, but he didn't want you as a girlfriend for whatever reason...maybe it WAS just the distance. He doesn't want a relationship with you, and he made that clear from the beginning. I'm sure your feelings for him were unintentional, but none the less, it happened. In his eyes, you broke a trust, by starting to have feelings for him, when he trusted you not to. He was counting on you to be his friend, but you're not his friend now, because you want to be his lover.
I don't think that in this situation you can have him. He's a jerk, in reality, for being your first, when he knew he had no intentions of starting a relationship with you.
What kind of "friend" leads a friend on like that? Look at this realistically, and see if you truely WANT a friend who would use you in such a selfish way. Feelings of love aside...
Also, he's now avoiding you, so that's another clue that he isn't interested. You two may have been close, and it may have gone too far, and now he probably feels like any more contact with you would just lead you on more, and he doesn't want to do that, because he doesn't want to be with you in that way.
The BEST thing you can do, is MOVE ON. The relationship with him has crossed the line. If you plan to ever have any kind of relationship with him ever again, you need to back off a lot. No calling him, no calling his family, no e-mailing him, unless he e-mails you first....and then if his e-mail is two sentances, don't write a book...send two sentences back. Don't be cold, be friendly, but DON'T PUSH. I know that's hard to do, but the FASTEST way to run a person off, is to chase them. Let him come to you.
He let you know how far this friendship was allowed to go, but you pushed the limits, so now he's running. If you chase, he'll run faster.
Let him be for a while, and if you see him online, say hi, to let him know that you are still there for him, but when he responds, don't respond back. If he responds twice, then you respond back. What this does, is let him know that you are there, but you are not going to force yourself on him.
Giving him this kind of space, and letting him know that you respect him so you're not going to try and make him do something he CLEARLY doesn't want to do, will make him want to be your friend again.
I wouldn't push for much of anything with this guy, though. I stand by what I said earlier: What kind of "friend" would lead a friend on like that????? That's cruel beyond words.
Should I fight for my LD, "Friends with benefits" best friend???
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