[fourxxxx]

Help I am 55 year old male who has just started a women who is 45 I have known her for over 8 years but she has always been in other relationships until now.we get on very well together but I don't seem to be able to get myself started on the physical side of things,I havn't even got round to kissing yet and don't seem to know how to start to display any affection towards her as I havn't been out with the opposite sex for 4 years.She always comes to my place and always stays over but not together as she say's she doesn't want to enter another relationship and just wants a male friend but sometimes it seems as if you could cut the air with a knife because of the sexual tension between us and I feel as if she is waiting for me to make the first move.The trouble is I don't want to get it wrong as I would rather have her as friend than loose her through some sort of stupid move.how should I approach the next move and what should I be looking for on the positive side of any signals from her,how do you approach that first move?

I like that you respect the friendship you have with this woman, so I'm gonna try and help you out.

First of all, don't stress that it's been 4 years. Sex and foreplay is like riding a bike - you never forget how to do it! The crux is getting started. If she is like 90% of women in this world, she is waiting for you to make the first move. I suggest waiting for a time when you are both relaxed, such as when she is over at your house. If you are a drinker (and you are a fellow New South Welshman so I'm guessing that you are mate), share a couple of glasses of wine or whatever to lower your inhibitions. Start off slowly, maybe put an arm around her shoulder while watching the tele. Holding her hand might sound cheesy but it's worked for me. When things start feeling electric you can lean over for a hug, brushing her cheek with your lips as you pull away. Or you can kiss her hand. In any case, you'll get a reaction from her - it'll either be a green or red light and you can go from there. If she pulls away you can pretend it was just friendly, but my guess is she'll maul you.

Good luck, keep me posted.