Seperated For 18 Months Finally Accepting Defeat!

blkswan73 · 16th May 2004, 1:42 AM

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME POSTING, SO I'LL TRY TO BE BRIEF. I'VE BEEN SEPARATED FROM MY HUSBAND FOR 18 MONTHS.
WE WERE OKAY FOR THE FIRST YEAR OR SO. I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS ONTO PORN, SO MUCH SO THAT OUR SEX LIFE WENT DOWN HILL. HE BEGAN TO GRADUALLY PULL AWAY FROM ME AND HE STOPPED TAKING TIME OUT WITH MY TWO SONS FROM MY PREVIOUS MARRIAGE. HE WAS NEVER REALLY AFFFECTIONATE AND TOLD ME AT SOME POINT THAT HE DID NOT LOVE ME AND THEN CHANGED IT TO ''I DON'T LOVE YOU THE SAME WAY YOU LOVE ME''! I NEVER
CHEATED ON HIM I WAS THE KIND OF WIFE THAT COOKED, CLEANED, WORKED EVERYDAY, AND WAS VERY GOOD IN BED(I DID EVERYTHING!) WHEN HE FELT UP TO IT. I TRIED TO DO ALL THAT I COULD TO CHANGE THINGS AND WE HAVE A 4 Y.O DAUGHTER
BETWEEN US. I MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 18 THE FIRST TIME AND NOW I'VE MESSED UP AGAIN!
WE'VE TRIED THERAPY AND EVEN WITH THE SEPERATION HE IS TELLING ME THAT THINGS ARE FINE THE WAY THEY ARE
AND NEVER SAYS WE WILL WORK IT OUT AND HE'LL COME HOME. I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY OTHER MEN SINCE HE LEFT.

I AM VERY HURT AND I JUST TOLD HIM LAST WEEK THAT WE NEED TO END THIS. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MEN WANT ANYMORE, AND I'M IN NO HURRY TO FIND OUT.
I CAN'T STOP FEELING SO FOOLISH AND STUPID THAT I WAITED SO LONG FOR HIM TO STRAIGHTEN OUT. I'VE READ ALL THE BOOKS TO IMPROVE MYSELF AND NOW I MUST MOVE ON.

SO WHY DOES THIS HURT SO BAD? AND WHAT CAN I DO TO GET OVER THIS?

I'M ON MY SECOND STRIKE NOW!

hurtingandconfused · 18th May 2004, 3:01 AM

Quote:

SO WHY DOES THIS HURT SO BAD? AND WHAT CAN I DO TO GET OVER THIS?

Because you are in denial. Accept that he is never coming back. Let him go emotionally and you will begin to feel better towards yourself.

FolderWife · 18th May 2004, 5:45 PM

That's a sad sad story

I know it's hard to let go of the one you love, and planned to spend your life with. It's also hard to comprehend that someone who once loved you so much, is chosing to shut you out, and masterbate to other women.

You tried therapy?? It's such a shame that it didn't help

blkswan73 · 22nd May 2004, 7:16 PM

THIS WEB SITE IS GREAT! I'VE BEEN READING SOME OF THE POSTS AND NOW I DON'T FEEL SO ALONE ANYMORE.
THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THINGS, AND HAVING AN OUTSIDERS POINT OF VIEW PUTS IT INTO PERSPECTIVE.
AGAIN THANK YOU, THIS IS GREAT.

BLKSWAN