I have made it, and am now one week sober from alcohol. There were a few nights when I really wanted to drink, but I made it through and I'm proud of myself. I realize that I cannot safely be around alcohol at this point, and that it isn't so wrong to admit that I have a problem.
I'm not sure why I like to drink, and why I drink far more than I need to whenever I do drink. All that I need to know right now is that it certainly isn't good for me, and that I do have the strength to make it through one week. I plan to make it much longer, and with every day it has become a bit easier. I learned tonight with my friends that I can be the "life of the party" completely sober, and that was a good realization.
I took the time to write down a few of the things which were upsetting me lately, and one of them has to do with a girl that I like, and have written about before on these forums. For some reason I didn't feel like writing about the bad, as I knew I could deal with it on my own. Things are going alright with her now. I realized that I was putting myself into a state, and drinking so that I would not have to feel the stress from that state. I was being selfish, wanting to see her more and to talk to her more, and was not being fair at all to her. She has a child, a job, and recently someone close to her passed away. I put things into perspective, and struggled through the week on my own, and without alcohol to numb me.
I'm proud that I've made it. I'm proud that I realize I had nothing to worry about at all. I suppose it's only natural to work yourself into a state over insecurities, but to drink in order to deal with these problems is always wrong. Now that I know I can deal with these little struggles on my own I feel stronger, happier, and more at peace with myself.
Whenever I crave a drink, I just mix some fruit juice with gingerale, and it seems to do the trick
As for my insecurities, I have refrained from calling the object of my affections for the past few days, firstly to give her more space (I had been phoning her quite frequently, and usually pressuring her to see me again), and secondly to feel fine alone for a while. She still calls me, and we still have great conversations. I'm just pleased that I am coming along very well with those two problems that had been eating away at me. I look forward to seeing her again when she's sorted things out.
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